Showing posts with label wicked shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wicked shit. Show all posts

Friday, July 12, 2013

Witch Hunt Sunrise II by Jonathan Moon



Blood everywhere and we all feel alright.

Maybe dizzy, probably high.

We’re dancing. We’re dancing into the Light. And we’ll keep dancing on through these dark new days in our shoes of whore-skin leather. We’ll wave our garish crosses built of infant bones and barbed wire, and the village will stomp along. We’ll have us a witch hunt, boys. Burn her up to cinders, piss on them ashes, and take her land deeds. We’ll build there on our rewarded property, and the Light will glow from the temple her sacrifice has wrought. We'll sacrifice the heathens then, use their blood to grease the gears in our new machine. We’ll be dancing in the Light, tracking bloody footprints through our shiny new temple, content in these dark new days.

Maybe dizzy, probably high.

Blood everywhere and we feel alright.   





You can find more of my work here. Thank you for reading. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

TRICLYOPTIC LIVES!!!

I'm pleased to announce that I have a new collection available for you horrorheads. 
I've collected my kindle-only Hoo-Doo County Horrors and Hoo-Doo County Horrors 2 and slapped them into an old fashioned paperback book! But that's not all, I've also included a ten-story sampling from another kindle-only collection due out later this year, Everything Is Gonna Be Alright and Other Out and Out Lies.
After we take a look at the sweet ass cover done by Matt Edgington, I'll break down some of the stories for you.





Hoo-Doo County Horrors:

The Full Moon Express- The story of Leon, the big rig driving killer werewolf, and the new friends he meets on the twisted roads of Hoo-Doo County.

Witch Hunt Sunrise- One of my earliest and still darkest pieces of flash fiction. (A personal favorite)

Roadside Crosses- A fan favorite of mine involving a haunted highway and a hateful ghost.

Parched- There are vampires in these there hills...


Hoo-Doo County Horrors 2:

Letter From the Bottom of a Mine Shaft- A flash piece written from the view of one of the last humans on the dying Earth.

Corpse Eater- Another fan favorite, introduces us to Marty and Ripper, the two undertakers from the strange Stillwater Funeral Home.

Owing Ira- A novella length story about displaced hit-men and rural murder/rapists. The most extensively re-worked story from Mr. Moon's Nightmares so far. Thicker and meaner than before, the first of a three novella series.


Everything Is Gonna Be Alright and Other Out and Out Lies:

Everything Is Gonna Be Alright- A mantra, say it over nd over and maybe the world won't eat itself.

Whiskey and Water- A flash piece centered around a small shore town.

Dreaming Durkhiem- My sleep is often invaded by social theorists.  

Under the Twin Moons of X2313AR- A sci-fi twisted flash piece about a futuristic game show.

Three Hits of Hash On Top Of One Hit Of Weed- Sometimes it isn't just what you are smoking but who you are smoking with.

The Rotting- This world stinks of decay.

Sensible Sam and the Horrors Everywhere- An oldie but a goodie which has been waiting to see publication for a number of years now. We follow Sam through a lifetime full of deadly encounters with all manners of monsters to see what finally breaks him down.

Great Purification- A deep-woods redneck ends up the herald to a devilish fire-God set on engulfing the world in flames.

Joy Ride- A serial killer with a taste for fast cars and random pedestrians.

Little Black Jars- My most extreme story to date, about a robot addicted to human souls. Too man he needs other humans to find the souls in corpses before he can ingest them. The brutal robot rapist Mr. Cottonseed will haunt your dreams...with a dark Johnny Cash soundtrack.


BUY TRICLYOPTIC HERE!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Hoo-Doo County Weekend.

I've got a few things popping in the world of Hoo-Doo County I wanted to share with you horrorheads.

Firstly, I've gotten Hoo-Doo County Horrors 2 up on kindle for your twisted enjoyment. This go around there are only three stories- Letter From The Bottom of a Mine Shaft, Corpse Eater, Owing Ira, but Owning Ira is a damned novella full of the darkness you crave. I really think you all will dig our second voyage into the mountain forests of Hoo-Doo County. It starts off dark and doesn't let up but i bet you giggle a little bit as we encounter our hungry morticians and strange sex-craved killers. You can get this bad boy on your kindle for ONLY $1.99! CLICK HERE!

Secondly, just to let some slackers get caught up on the dealio here I'm letting Hoo-Doo County Horrors go FREE all weekend on amazon. so, this weekend only two little collections in Hoo-Doo County for only $1.99! Get caught up for FREE here!

In other Hoo-Doo County news, I've decided the next in the series will be the entirety of my fan-favorite serial Grasshopper Season with a few added chapters to keep that grasshopper gore a' splashing!
So before the end of summer you will be able to get Hoo-Doo County Horrors 3: Grasshopper Season on your kindle!
I've begun selecting stories for the fourth installment and have already chosen the stories Handful of Nails and a Lottery Ticket and the rare story The Fear VS The Need. I hope to have this volume up before the end of the year.
I hope to release my novella Back When Beulah Was Beautiful, perhaps with the stories A Pretty Death and Through the Thistle, Through the Woods as all three bare the same starkly bleak yet beautiful feeling. Hoping for an October or winter release for this.
By the end of summer I also hope to be accepting submissions for Hoo-Doo County Horrors 5...tentatively titled Hoo-Doo County Horrors 5: Mr. Moon and Friends. What I will be looking for is stories not only based in Hoo-Doo County but the use of familiar characters. We'll talk much more about this as time approaches, but I predict a hell of a fun time with this.

Now, as I've said previously all of the Hoo-Doo County Horror series will be released on kindle. However, I just can't stop loving paperback books, in hopes I'm not the only one I will be offering a special THREE-PACK of kindle works into one paperback. This 'Triclyoptic' will feature both Hoo-Doo County Horrors and Hoo-Doo County Horrors 2 but also a select sample of stories from my upcoming Everything Is Gonna Be Alright and Other Out and Out Lies. I will have a stack of Triclyoptics with me at CRYPTICON SEATTLE next month and will open it up to be available for everyone else when I return home from what has become one of my favorite weekends every year.

Whew, that was a whole lot of jibber-jabber for one blog post. I do have more good news I will be able to share with you all soon. Stay groovy, my friends, here in our darkness.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Dreaming Durkheim by Jonathan Moon

Speaking of Social Theorists invading dreams, I dreamt I was eating dinner with Emile Durkheim last night. We were served terrible meats covered in bitter sauces by naked people while he explained his theories to me in broken English. When he began explaining how social norms are born from frenzied emotions I set him on fire. Everyone else panicked but he simply waved them away.
 

"Don't help me", he said while he immolated.
 

He slowly burnt to death at the table, his English improving as flaming chunks of him dropped on the floor. Once he was dead the naked servers came and devoured his carcass at our table. They carried his bones outside and began adding them to a small bone building out back.
 

"One day this will be great." The naked people explained in unison.
 

I woke up trusting no one.



You can find more of my work HERE

Saturday, January 26, 2013

FREDDY HAS A NEW GOD Limited Edtion Chapbook Available For Pre-Order Now





I am very excited to announce my novella FREDDY HAS A NEW GOD is a new LIMITED EDITION chapbook from the one and only Jordan Krall's DYNATOX MINISTRIES. These DYNATOX chapbooks are very high quality chapbooks each filled to the brim with darkly weird greatness. And not only that but all DYNATOX chaps are LIMITED EDITION...FREDDY HAS A NEW GOD will have a print run of 25 copies at $15 a piece...when they are gone, they are gone. Get your grubs on some now!

I am honored to have a title alongside the other authors with works, out not or due in the future, from this majik cult of DYNATOX MINISTRIES.   

FREDDY HAS A NEW GOD is one of the oddest things I've ever written. By combining reality and surrealism into a goopy paste I smeared all over my face I tell the story of Freddy and his new fleshy pyramid god. It would be doom, if it wasn't glowing so green. If you enjoy my writing, you sick weirdo, then you'll recognize several reoccurring themes with FREDDY while its total exploding brutality oddness makes for a new poke in your brain. Weird. Brutal. Godly.

PRE-ORDER NOW by PayPal-ing $15 to gorshinary@juno.com

HUZZAH! 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Timothy W. Long's Alien Death Rays! and Other Unavoidable Hazards is LIVE!



BarnBurnerBooks is prouder than a puppy with two peters about Timothy W. Long's new collection of wild, freaky Sci-Fi- Alien Death Rays! and Other Unavoidable Hazards!

This book is seven examples of why I love Tim Long with yet another killer cover from the masterful Matt Edgington of Madoosk Design. I write stories to poke your eyes out to and he writes stories that vaporize your mind. Here is a quick contents listing for ya

The Book of Dan
A Shattered Sky
Anal Probes aren’t just for Breakfast Anymore
Last Rays Last Hope
Fast Food Farts
The Lonely Stars
Shit You Won’t See On Oprah (Special chapter from The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole!)

Get your copy here!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Hoo-Doo County Horrors



Hoo-Doo County is a fictional high mountain county I tend to base a bunch of my short stories in. The cities of Hoo-Doo County (Stillwater, Falterwood, Dry Hill,Bentley, St. Jim's and Nallof) and the surrounding dark woods were the setting of nearly all of the stories in my debut collection Mr. Moon's Nightmares. Recently Mr. Moon's Nightmares went out of print (there is still one autographed copy on Amazon, someone needs to buy that shit). I'll be going over the stories, in most cases re-writing them, and slapping them together with newer stories based in Hoo-Doo County in a series I've dubbed Hoo-Doo COunty Horrors. The first of which is available on kindle now!
Strap in and mount up as we head for the dark mountains of Hoo-Doo County. Featuring a wicked cover from Matt Edgington at Madoosk Design the first volume contains the stories-
The Full Moon Express
Roadside Crosses
Witch Hunt Sunrise
Parched
As with each upcoming volume I've included a chapter about the stories.

As a special bonus here is the line-up for the upcoming Hoo-Doo County Horrors Volume 2-
Letter from the Bottom of a Mine Shaft
Little Box of Ladybugs
Corpse Eater
Owing Ira

Pick up Volume 1 now for only .99 here!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Mr. MoOn's Review of Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms

Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms
By Jason Wuchenich




Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms is a quick two novella collection from one of independent fiction’s most twisted talents. Composed of the most disgusting fairy tale I’ve ever read, Stinky Incubus, and the most sex-crazed apocalypse story I’ve ever read, Skank Clusters, Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms is the most fun I’ve had while fighting the urge to vomit. This is gross out fiction at its rude and comedic best.
Stinky Incubus is the tale of Lemmy, an incubus that can only achieve physical form with flatulence. The ranker the gas the longer he can remain visible. In order to get good and upset enough to materialize for longer lengths of time Lemmy maintains a diet sure to make your innards rumble. While on a quest for ingredients for his vomit-inducing buffets Lemmy happens across an old crone and her fair maiden daughter. Lemmy falls madly in love with the daughter and visits her in her torrid dreams. As difficult as an existence is for a demon that requires farts to materialize is, throwing love in the mix only ensures chaos will ensue when the talented hands of Wuchenich are pulling the strings. Each character in this twisted little story has their own quirks and kinks that you’ll have to read for yourself because me glaring over them does them no justice. This story deals with folk lore, crap, tiny minstrel groups, feces, deadbeat water djinns, poop, labia coats, dookie, dreams, defecation, and true love. Yes, that much excrement but if you possess the continence required you’ll walk away amazed at Wuchenich’s ability to tickle your funny bone, sour your stomach, and pull on your heartstrings all at the same time.
Skank Clusters takes us down a completely different strange highway. The story is about tiny sluts that grow in clusters on vines. They possess highly addictive qualities and soon people the world over are strung out on the delicious little tramps. We follow the team of Tuggy and Raster as the have an adventure on the brim of the apocalypse as the world is over ran with sex-crazed psychopaths. Quick humor slaps you around as the boys stumble upon a way to save humanity. A second smaller story intertwines within this one that has a darker tone and relates closer to a few Skank junkies. Again, Wuchenich provides characters rich in oddity and humor in a quick paced story.
All in all Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms is disgusting, vile, rude, hilarious and very well written. Easily one of the fun-est extreme fiction books I’ve read in recent years. Highly recommended for fans of Bizarro, comedy, and extreme fiction fans in need of giggle fits.

Get your giggle-gag on here.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Disasternoon by Jonathan Moon

We slept till noon because we are both ugly in the morning. We woke up and dragged ourselves from the darkness of my bed room to the melancholy of my living room. The curtains are drawn over boarded up windows.

She tells me she’s an actress. Maybe she pretends she is someone else when the strobe lights are sweating her and she wraps her legs around the pole. Her lie makes us even because I told her she is safe.

“I have hopes and dreams.” She tells me because she can’t stop lying.

I don’t trust her limp because it catches me off guard. Physical frailty makes me nervous and she misinterprets the apathy etched on my face. She doesn’t like my whiskey breath because it reminds her of her dad.

She turns on the stereo and sweeps her arms across my coffee table. Cigarette butts flee their ash tray tombs and papers that used to mean something scatter all around. She climbs on the table and dances with tears streaming down her sunken cheeks.

“I can get low.” She tells me, and then proves it by slapping her bare ass against the table.

I cradle my whiskey bottle breakfast close to my chest to watch her as tears scorch my eyes. The dance is jerky, awkward, and sexy but it doesn’t match the funeral dirge blasting from the stereo at all. The morning was a waste and now the after noon is a disaster.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Soul in My Throat

I should have put her soul in a glass jar. It would have stained the jar black just like all the others. I know that now. She smelled so pure and so sweet.

Sometimes gristle looks just like meat.

I tasted her; her sweat and her blood. My stomach turned and I couldn't resist. I took out her eyes and they tasted fine. But her soul was poisoned and foul.

My eyes water and I'm dying now.

I cut off her hands and hung them with the others. The black jars swirled and shone there on my shelf. Thick blood caked in stripes down her cheeks and I didn't notice her grin.

I save the souls and I eat the sin.

Her soul was swollen as decay made it bloat. It chokes down my screams and my breath. My hands and feet go numb first. My knife clatters when it hits the floor and the jars seem to rattle. My world is going as black as the jars upon my shelf. Her eyeless corpse smiles at me while I choke on her soul in my throat.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

What 'THEY' Say About Heinous




I received my PROOF copy of Heinous this week and it was perfect! Next step is getting it live which should only take a few short days. In the meantime, I wanted to share the finished cover and the stellar collection of blurbs I've been fortunate enough to receive from some truly talented writers and just plain bad ass humans. I know people need to hear a book is incredible from at least five people before they will spend money on it. Well, here is people telling you how much Heinous rocks.


“Imagine looking out the window and seeing your infant child standing in the middle of a busy street. That sunken chest punch in the gut feeling is all I can compare HEINOUS with. Jonathan Moon shows no mercy.”-­-William Pauley III-­‐author of DOOM MAGNETIC! and The Brothers Crunk


"Uniquely disturbing, disturbingly unique"-­-­Jessica Brown-­‐horrornews.net and darkmarkets.com


“Heinous will suck you in with its easy, lyrical style so that it can electroshock you with straight-­‐up gorgeous fear. Lines like, My memories are ghosts. Ghosts wrapped in barbed wire will haunt you to sleep. This book kicks ass. Jonathan Moon is one scary dude.”-­-­Kevin Shamel, author of Rotten Little Animals and Island of the Super People


"[HEINOUS is] A breakneck hell-­‐ride through the heart and mind of a rising talent. Once you're in, there's no stopping."--­David Dunwoody, author of EMPIRE'S END and UNBOUND & OTHER TALES


"Get to know a man named Gavin Wagner and his dark friend inside, HEINOUS. Heinous will possess you to keep turning the pages into his world, and it is a dark one. What starts out as a vivid nightmare twists its way into a brutal reality of depravity and violence. This novel jolts you into and out of reality in whiplashes of macabre dreamscapes and morbid intent. Jonathan Moon is a name in Horror to be reckoned with. His words bleed with dim adjectives that blanket the reader in a gloomy sense of dread. Moon skillfully guides you down a pitch black path...with something sinister waiting around every corner and for you, the reader... there is
no light."-­-­Jason Hughes, author of Without Notice and screen-writer of Dead Girls Don’t Cry



“From the haunting, mesmerizing opening to the stunning, pitch perfect conclusion, Mr. Moon weaves a tale of raw brutality and sheer terror that will stay with you long after you finish reading.In a word-­ Brilliant.“-­-­Bryan Hall,author of Containment Room Seven



"Like a claustrophobic nightmare, Jonathan Moon carves out a dark dreamscape filled with ghastly images and dark terror in Heinous."-­-­Bowie V. Ibarra,­author of the 'Down the Road' zombie series


“It’s like Jonathan Moon ripped out my inner child and beat it with a shovel. Heinous is also an early contender for horror novel of the year.”--­Timothy W. Long, author of The Zombie Wilson Diaries


So there you have it! Available VERY VERY SOON Heinous, Heinous, Heinous!!!

Friday, April 29, 2011

FEAROLOGY!!!




Hells yes! I have a story in the newest antho from The Library of Horror, Fearology.

Now, apparently there was so many great stories subbed for this one that Bill "Editor Extraordinaire" Tucker has put together 3 Fearologies! You can find my story 'The Fear Vs. The Need' in this first one. Check out the Toc then order yourself up one!

Fearology : Terrifying Tales of Phobias TOC


Stephanie Kincaid - Bursting With Nutty Goodness

Colin Harvey - Dark

C. C. Blake - I Own My Fears

Val Muller - Horrible Harry

Mark Souza - Relative Undertow

F. J. R. Titchenell - Gravity

Robert Guffey - Birth Of A Nation

Camille Alexa - Things From Things

Jonathan Moon - The Fear vs The Need

Merrill Catharine Hodnefield - Isobel And The Machine

Ken Goldman - Donny Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Joe Nazare - Bash

Quinn Hernandez - The Hell Behind Her Eyes

J. T. Seat - The Cock Collection

Gustavo Bondoni - Back In The Fold

Kody Boye - DJ Skippy Says Life Goes On


Order Fearology here!

The Self Mutilation Blues is up at The New Flesh!

My new short story, The Self Mutilation Blues, is up over at William Pauley III's incredible The New Flesh. The New Flesh is a fantastic place to read weird short stories. I'm proud to say William Pauley III is putting together an anthology of strange, and longer, pieces for a print edition of The New Flesh that we will be putting out under The Library of Bizarro Horror press banner later in the year. Swoop by to read The Self Mutilation Blues and stay and check out the TONS of other great stories by very talented weirdos!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Eerily Realistic Demise of Mr. Moon by Stephaine Kincaid

(A little bit of back ground....months ago a group of us on The Library of the Living Dead forum played a Murder Mystery game when I was the murderer! I tore my friends from the board into tiny wet pieces one by one while they tried to figure out who was behind the killings. Since I'm the nice guy I am I offered those I killed a chance to do the same to me and I would post it up here on the Monkey Faced Demon. Tim Long killed the hell outta me on my birthday. Zombie Zak is supposedly killing me soon. Mrs. Kincaid took it upon her self to kill me this morning...and she does a damn fine, if not personally terrifying job!)

Mr. Moon let forth a flood of expletives so venomous that his features seemed to melt away in the face of his vicious cursing, leaving only an overflowing potty mouth with nary a plunger in sight. There were curses that boomed and curses that tiptoed, curses that shone with demonic light, and curses so foul that a scent of sulfur floated in their wake. Small animals cowered in terror at the blasphemous filth pouring from his lips, and flowers wilted and blackened, blighted by the unholy pestilence of his utterances.
Borne on the torrent of filth was one word, one little syllable that warranted repeating in decent company.
“Why?”
But let’s back up a little, shall we?

It had been a pleasant evening for Moon. He’d been reviewing the latest edits for the re-release of his most deliciously foul work ever: Heinous, the story of a sadistic demon and the unfortunate boy he possesses. This version was longer, more brutal, and far more disturbing than the original. Sometimes, when he worked on the book into the wee hours, he even gave himself nightmares. Those were his favorite nights.
Tonight, however, would be an early night. Once he wrapped up the edits, he felt sure he’d rest in peace. He had no idea how right he was.
Moon clicked through the document, accepting the last few changes with a grin. He’d done it! Heinous was ready to go. He opened his email, all set to send a victorious message to his editor, only to discover that she was way ahead of him.
“From: Stephanie Kincaid,” he read. “Subject: CONGRATULATORY TENTACLES.”
Chuckling, he opened the message.
“Congrats on finishing Heinous,” it said. “Click here to retrieve your bouquet of a dozen writhing tentacles. Talk too you soon, Stephanie.”
“Weird,” muttered Moon. “Talk too you soon?” He’d never known Stephanie to make grammatical errors. Maybe she’d just made a typo in her excitement about the book. It was possible. But something about it didn’t sit well with him. Still … he could worry about his editor later. There were tentacles to be retrieved, damn it!
Moon was not one to pass up a single tentacle, let alone a dozen!
Especially when they were writhing.
Click.
The graphic to which he was redirected was adorable. Twelve chubby purple tentacles with lime-green suction cups, tied into a bouquet with a sweet pink bow, wiggled and waved in a merry little dance from the screen. In the background, a saccharine version of “If You’re Happy and You Know it” played nonstop, sung by a chorus of what might have been kindergarteners but might also have been elves on speed; Moon couldn’t quite tell—and wasn’t sure there was that much of a difference. It was at once the most grotesque email he’d ever received and the cutest. Even as he considered how very nauseating the song was—particularly this squeaky, smarmy incarnation of it—he found himself bobbing his head to what passed for a beat.
“Stephanie, you are one sick lady,” he said to his computer screen.
“You have no idea,” growled a voice from within the machine.
“What the hell?” Moon made a mental catalog of all the substances he’d ingested that day, but failed to turn up anything that would produce hallucinations of a gravelly-voiced computer-dwelling creature. It had been a slow day.
As he sat there, gaping at the computer, the image of the waving tentacles flickered, and the screen cracked—just a little at first, but a small crack in one corner soon became a spider web that covered the screen. All at once, the screen fell away with a horrible rasping sound, and a dozen slimy, sinewy tentacles—not nearly so cute now—burst from the machine and wrapped themselves around Moon’s torso, hoisting him into the air. The more he struggled, the tighter the tentacles gripped him, crushing him from all sides. He was sure he could feel his organs turning to pulp.
“Look on the bright side,” said a woman’s voice. “Your innards will make a lovely smoothie. High in protein, low in fat. Healthy and tasty.”
Beneath the desk on which the shattered remains of his computer lay, the floor seemed to fall away, exposing a pit that, from his airborne vantage point, looked forbiddingly deep. And from this pit crawled none other than the woman who had sent the email that started this nightmare.
“Stephanie?” Moon gasped. “Help me, please!” To his brain, scrambled as it was by panic and pain, the woman who had just climbed up into his home from the bowels of the earth … the woman whose appearance had been heralded by a dozen tentacles doing an excellent boa constrictor impersonation … the woman who wielded a red pen more vicious than a wolverine with PMS … this woman still looked like a friend.
Until, that is, she hoisted a wicked gleaming hook into the air. The short brunette had looked much less threatening on Facebook.
She waved the hook like a conductor’s baton, and five of the twelve tentacles released their hold on Moon. The other seven squeezed even tighter to compensate, and Moon had a sudden empathy for every stress toy ever manufactured. The five tentacles plunged into the pit and emerged bearing hooks just like Stephanie’s. She continued to weave her hook in intricate patterns, directing a balletic masterpiece in fear. The tentacles that held him turned him so that he dangled upside down and rearranged themselves to leave his head and torso exposed. Several tentacles held him by the legs; the rest bound his arms to limit his flailing. The tentacles with the hooks danced and swerved, ultimately poising themselves before Moon’s poor abused body. One waited right before his forehead, one before each eye, one over his heart, and one in front of his stomach.
Stephanie grinned with manic glee. “Any last words?” she asked, her tone mocking.
That was when the flood of expletives began. It ran its course until the lone sad syllable hung on the fear-charged air.
“Why?”
“Because you created me. And there’s only one way to be stronger than the one who made you.” The words came from Stephanie’s mouth, but the voice was not hers. And all at once, Moon knew. He knew the voice, recognized it from his own mind, from his nightmares. It was the voice of Heinous, the demon he himself had created.
In one fluid move, Stephanie swung her hook up and brained herself, the hook entering through one nostril and exiting through the top of her head. The crazy grin stayed plastered on her face. It was an unnerving sight made even more so by the fact that he was viewing it upside down.
“But … but …” stammered Moon, “you just killed your host.”
“Bitch kept correcting my grammar,” growled Heinous through Stephanie’s lips.
“But you need a living host!” Moon cried, spotting his opportunity. “You can’t survive in our plane of existence without a human to possess. I can save you!”
Heinous laughed, a sound more terrifying than the screams of all the souls in Hell. “Yeah, and I can’t travel via computer either, right? Or open a pit to Hell in the middle of your house, huh?”
The hooks before Moon’s eyes looked especially pointy. This wasn’t going well.
“You wanted an upgraded Heinous, right, Moon? Well, you got it. Meet Heinous 2.0,” the demon growled.
And the hooks struck home.


AWESOME! Uh, thanks for the slaughter, Steph! You can catch her chatting with Lori Titus and Tonia Brown right here.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

First Look, HEINOUS Cover and Chapter Titles




Dream: Limbo

My Sick Story: Becoming Hate

Dream: Meat Hooks and the Damned

My Sick Story: The Grieving Process

Dream: Fear of the Light

My Sick Story: Broken Branches on the Family Tree

Dream: The Ash of Trees and Dreams

My Sick Story: Heathens in the Sun

Dream: Wall of Dead Flesh

My Sick Story: Decades that Bled

Dream: Wagner Family Reunion

My Sick Story: Resolution Reeks of Gasoline


COMING SOON from Library of Horror Press

Read a sample here

Monday, February 7, 2011

A HEINOUS Excerpt

Dream: Meat Hooks and the Damned

I open my eyes to fog. It drifts lazily around me, and I recognize this place. I look at myself and am not the least bit surprised when I see my plain shirt and pants, faded gray and streaked with blood. I curl my bare toes into the ashes and powdered bones beneath me. I reach up and trace the ragged edges of the fresh inverted cross carved into my forehead. The wound screams, but the pain makes me focus. I’m standing alone, but I sense other people near, the way a deer senses the hunter as it takes its final sip of water. I spin in a slow circle, and the fog spins with me.

I hear sounds, muffled sounds. I hear clapping that sounds like it is coming from every direction all at once. The fog distorts the sound, but I’ve been here. I hear laughter, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. I focus and stare deep into the fog until I see a dark blur. I walk toward the blur, and it takes a more definite form with each step. The edges solidify into a black rectangle. The black becomes brown. The shape widens into a shack. The brown becomes weathered wood the color of old bone. The door to the shack slams as if blown by an unseen wind. I stand before the door, and I hear the laughter and the clapping emanating from within. The building is squat, barely taller than the door, and it only looks to be a few square feet big. Still, it weeps malevolence. The ever-swirling fog dances around it, moved by the force of the noise within.

Instinct forces my hand, and I push open the creaky door. Without taking a step, I’m standing inside the building It is massive on the inside, like a creepy wooden version of Dr. Who’s TARDIS, lit by torches fixed to the walls. It towers over me, bleached wooden planks reaching twenty feet to a simple wooden ceiling where long, braided strands of hair hang down. Hollowed-out bones are braided into the hair, and they clank together, swaying in an unseen breeze. A small wooden ledge lines the wall behind me, and people sit shoulder to shoulder on it, staring past me. I feel like I should recognize the people sitting here, but my mind is blank. I walk slowly in front of them, looking into their milky dead eyes, but none acknowledges me. Each sits up stiff and straight, hands folded. Some hands are missing fingers, some faces missing strips of flesh. Some stare ahead with one eye, a gaping oozing crater where the other eye should be. Others are missing ears or wearing slit-throat necklaces. As I stare at them, they raise their hands in clumsy unison and clap in an off-kilter rhythm. Laughter erupts behind me like grenades in a barrel, and I turn around as the sitting people make screaming faces and howl with joyous laughter.

More people hang, suspended by a complex network of barbed wire and meat hooks, above a large hole in the simple wooden floor. Tears of blood stream down their faces as the wires pull taut and the hooks yank them up, down, in every direction, so that their limbs flail frantically. They cringe in agony, but they all laugh out loud as they jerk and twitch to the tug of the wires. I step forward to the man swinging nearest me and notice his eyes are alive with confusion and pain, though he screams hearty laughter in my face with enough force to speckle my skin with his warm blood. I look him over from head to toe. He has deep cuts in the flesh of his cheeks, deep enough that when he chuckles, I can see flashes of bone under the pulpy ribbons of his face. A hook pokes through his right shoulder, and another through his left thigh. An even thicker one splits his sternum open, and shards of bone stab out alongside the purple metal of the hook.

I wager a glance below his kicking feet and into the hole in the floor. Huge, savage gears made of flesh, purple metal, and pink crustaceous shell grind against each other as blood rains down on them from the twitching people above. The gears rumble, and the people dance and laugh. The people seated along the wall clap and laugh along. I stare back and forth a few times before I notice the figure standing at the far wall, his face cloaked in torchlight shadow. Everyone laughs and claps at the gory spectacle while the man at the end of the aisle works his arms, tugging at the wires that control the ghastly puppet show.

I take a step toward the puppet master, and his arms go limp at his side. In the same instant, the wires go slack, and the puppet people slide off their hooks and into the mutant gears below them. The seated people stand in the same almost-unison as their clapping, which intensifies as the bodies rend and burst in the flesh-metal-shell gears. The standing people all stare straight ahead of them, their yellow and white eyes blind to the sight of bodies grinding to pulpy smears in front of them.

I take another step, and the puppet master breathes smoke that billows out of the shadows cloaking his face and through the space between the planks in the walls. The standing people walk forward until they are at the edge of the floor, dangerously close to the churning gears. One by one, they turn around so their heels hang just over the end of the ancient wood. The figure raises his arms, and the strands of barbed wire growing from his skin shimmer in torchlight as the hooks swing down and impale the people. The people scream once as their eyes uncloud, but when the wires snap backwards, violently tugging their bodies, their screams turn to laughter. They swing back together to dangle above the gears. The puppet master exhales more smoke.

I contemplate the empty seats just as a hand, bloody and deformed, reaches out of the gears near the door. An arm follows it, and a man pulls his crushed, pulpy body from the horrible gears. Behind him, a woman follows suit, pulling her shattered body from the gears. The man stands on impossibly crushed legs and stares through me with milky dead eyes. As the woman behind him stands, the dead man takes a step closer to me. Another corpse pulls itself from the gears, forcing the dead man and woman another step closer. The puppets flail and laugh as the wires jerk up and down and back and forth in a metallic flurry. I am staring at them when the first dead man to crawl from the mutant gears slams into me as he takes a step forward to allow room for the ever-growing number of people resurrecting themselves from the flesh-metal-shell. I stumble back and notice that the dead man’s face has healed—not completely, but his wounds have shrunk and closed slightly. His legs still boast compound fractures, but they are no longer crumpled to the point of being unrecognizable as limbs. He steps into me again, and I back up a few steps.

I turn around and find myself staring at the shadow that cloaks the puppet master’s face. His arms work back and forth, flexing and relaxing, up and down, while dozens of strands of barbed wire reach up behind the human puppets. His body is slender but muscular, and crisscrossed with purple welts and bright crimson scars. From the mask of shadows, he blows smoke into my face. My eyes water, and red and blue spots dance behind my eyelids when I blink the burn away. When I open my eyes, I see the smoke he exhaled drift through the cracks in the wall like dust in sunshine. The dead man bumps me again, and I step toward the puppets to give him room to get past. Instead of pushing farther, he and the rest of the people who’d climbed out of the gears all sit down on the wooden ledge. They stare straight ahead with their dead eyes. The puppet master works his arms and wires back and forth, up and down, forcing the human puppets to yank and jerk against the purple hooks.

The human puppets flail and laugh, and the seated people applaud politely. The longer they clap, the brighter the torches above glow. The brighter they glow, the more the shadow concealing the puppet master’s face fades. He works his arms more and more furiously until the puppets are spinning in circles, flinging fans of blood at the blind audience. I stand in front of his madly waving arms, avoiding the slicing wires as they cut the stale, blood-tinged air. He moves so fast I see tracers from the whipping wires. The dead clap, and the human puppets laugh. The torches burn daylight-bright, and the shadow hiding the puppet master fully dissipates.

I’m staring at myself. I see the thick strands of wire growing from my arms. I see where the muscles turn to wire under the stretched skin of my forearms. I can see the three tentacles connecting from the puppet master’s head to the walls of the shack behind him. They are a mix of flesh and shell, like the gears below, but I see no metal as they pulse and tug at the base of the puppet master’s neck. The tentacles sway, and the puppet master’s arms mimic the motion, forcing the human puppets to scream with laughter as the hooks pull them in different directions. My eyes are open wide when the puppet master me exhales dark orange smoke into my face.

I blink the burn away again.

I open my eyes and see the cords of wire stretching from under the skin in my arms. I feel each wire where it melds to my muscles and bones. I feel the weight of the tentacles extending from the base of my skull. I feel each throb and swing. I see time and space and beyond. I want to destroy it all. I hear drums in my head, and my arms wave to the off-kilter beat. The wires tug and tighten, forcing the human puppets to dance and sway. I look to the puppets, and each one is me. I feel the smile as I force myself to twist and jerk at the demand of purple steel. The seated people clap, and my eyes dart back and forth. Everyone sitting is me as well. Each me stares with dead white eyes at another me, twisting and twirling to the insane demands of monster me.

I see myself from everywhere. Hooked and dancing. Blind and clapping. Swinging my wires and arms.

I blow smoke and watch it drift between the planks and fade away.
My throat aches from laughing. My eyes hurt from massive, diamond-hard cataracts. My arms burn from commanding the macabre puppet show and from the wires attached to them. Each sitting me stands and claps. Again, I see time and space and beyond. I let my arms fall limp at my sides. The wires whip, and everything bleeds. I slide off my hooks and fall into gears made of flesh, metal, and shell.

COMING IN 2011 from Library of Horror Press....HEINOUS!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Bone Home by Jonathan Moon

The air is hot and dry. And still. Yet watch how the curtains sway in that room above the breakfast nook. I’ll tell you what makes those ragged drapes dance: spirits, dark and tortured.

Hold my hand, my dear, as we walk the grim halls and rotted rooms of Bone Home.

No, my love, the house is built of wood and nails, wire and glass as houses often are. The name comes from the man who built this magnificent dwelling. In 1904, Edward Bone carved a clearing in these beautiful pines and built his family a home. Old Edward Bone was a distant cousin to my grandma. By a strange stroke of luck and diminished family bloodline I now hold the deed. A logger by trade, he knew the wood and used only the best. Edward Bone took nearly every piece of handcrafted furniture and stacked it in some hideous monolith the town’s folks burned. Before we enter, see there where the grass is blackened even after a century worth of snow and sun. Now into the house itself we venture. This door was handcrafted by artisans long dead and never recognized. It whines and creaks when we open it, but it has done its duty and kept the elements out. We can leave it open if you like, but I think it will be futile; they like the door closed. Why allow a breeze if you can’t feel it on your face?

To your left, my dear, are the dining room and kitchen. If you look at the dismal gray paper where it still clings to the walls, you can make out the faintest tint of the dark autumn yellow of sunflowers. How cheerful it must have been. Broken dishes and a feeling of nervousness that hangs in the air and clings to your skin are all that remain in the kitchen. The morning sun shines through this big window, and the family would sit at this table to eat breakfast and greet each new day together. No, my dear, blood dries brown. I don’t know what has left the smeared black stain across the table top. Although, I can show you century-old blood if we go back to the foyer.

See, my love, they closed the door when we went to the dining room. Before we go upstairs, see that dark blotch. A bloodstain. A deep, old bloodstain. Edward Bone took a bailing hook to his oldest daughter, Catherine, and gutted her right where you are standing. She bled out here. She lay in a puddle of her wet innards until her blood soaked into the floorboards and caked to her pale face. Catherine hates this foyer now. She lives in the cellar where her young blood dripped. I can show her to you if you want. She sits and rocks in the corner trying to keep herself together.

Okay, my dear, there’s more to see, so we’ll just keep moving. The stairs creak and moan like the dead, but they’ll grant us safe passage to the rooms up here. Notice how the pictures still hang on this decrepit wall. Look closer and see how the images are blurred and burned behind the flawless glass. I’ve stared into the distorted eyes of the images and I feel them screaming in my head, so, please, limit your glances.

Yes, my love, more blood awaits atop the stairs. Such wonderful tools those loggers used. Edward Bone caved in his son Simon’s skull with the five-pound hammer that he used to knock stubborn branches from downed logs and then stripped him naked like a cedar here in the hallway. Shush, my dear, there is Simon now. He is watching us with his eye. Don’t stare at the pulp that is his skull now for he may take offence. See how his naked form shimmers in the shadows as he sulks into his mother’s sitting room.

This, my love, is Edward Bone’s wife, Delores Bone. I find her here most often; rocking in her chair as you see her now. Sometimes Pamela, the middle daughter, crowds close, but she is shy around new people. She carries her head in her hands, and her long beautiful hair is eternally tangled with her blood. Delores can’t see you because, as you can see, he has sewn her eyes shut, but she can hear you. She sings young Simon haunting lullabies to calm his terrified spirit. Her voice is distant and sorrowful; see how it raises the gooseflesh on my arm.

That deep chill and pungent stench, my dear, is Edward drawing close. Watch how Mother Bone and son fade as the murderous patriarch approaches. We will meet him halfway when we turn the tarnished knob to the door to our right.

I must warn, my love, if old dead Edward Bone speaks we must cover our ears and leave. I’ll open the door now. It creaks loudest of all, and the house vibrates softly as his evil condenses to form a physical being. His restless murderous spirit rolls and swirls and that, my dear, is what makes the curtains wave. See how they whip now as his apparition appears. Today he is holding the gore-stained hammer and smiling like the damned. He died of starvation here in this room. He slaughtered his family and never again left this house.

Don’t look at his dark eyes as they roll in their sockets!
Ia. Tahgen noob fhtagn. Ia Ia.

No! My love, cover your ears and back away!
Ia! Tahgen noob fhtagn! IA! IA! IA!

My DEAR, My LOVE!
IA! TAHGEN NOOB FHTAGN! IA! IA! IA! IA!

I can’t save you, my love, and the hammer is all too real now. Your blood drips down my face, and my apology is stuck in my throat. I told you not to listen.

I have to leave now, my dear, but I always return. You’ll meet the young daughters Bone now and share in their phantom state; mutilated beauty surround by molding decay. I’ll bring you more friends until this house feels alive again.

Maybe, my love, I’ll move in so we can always be together in the grim hallways and rotted rooms of Bone Home.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Mr. Moon and Bizarro Horror X2

I'm very excited and proud to announce that Houdini Gut Punch is live on amazon.com! Yup, my first ever venture into the editing world (be afraid world, be very afraid) was born yesterday. And you know what makes the day even cooler? Houdini Gut Punch has a twisted Bizarro Horror brother! That's right Toe Tags 2: Blood and Bizarro, from Brian Barnett and William Pauley III, is live on amazon as well! That's two tomes of wicked weird bizarro horror for you, together boasting over thirty strange scary stories! Order both from amazon and get free shipping! A frakin' double dose of Jordan Krall and Kevin Shamel!If keep typing I'm only going to use more exclamation points so I'll just turn you loose on these two ToCs of 100% awesome.

Side A
NEON GUTTER MEAT-Jordan Krall
Consumer's Paradise-Patrick D'Orazio
The Claws that Catch- P.D. Hansen
The Fowlness- Stephanie Kincaid
Salami Rhett-Kevin Shamel
Another Double Helix Day In Tailertown- Ben McElroy
New Age- Rick Conrood
Real Love Burns- Jonathan Moon

Side B
Hit and Fun- Garrett Cook
Guy Who Got A Headache- Matt Nord
All Due Stories In Good Time- Timothy W. Long
The Aircrash Bureau (or How Johnny Carson and General Patton Hijacked a Space Shuttle To Get Back On The Air)- Nick Cato
You'll Be Grated When You're Dead- Ruth Imeson
!PING!- Christopher Fox
Drain Angel- Cameron C. Pierce

Find it here



THE SPIDERS OF HONEYVILLE by William Pauley III
FORECLOSURE by Garrett Calcaterra
SHADOW POX by David W Barbee
GUNS II by Joey Froehlich
THIRST by Laura Eno
WIT'S END by Suzie Bradshaw
GUY UNHINGED by Steve Lowe
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE TOMBSTONES by Joey Froehlich
BLACK ENVELOPES by Jordan Krall
GINGERBREAD MEN by John F.D. Taff
LISA GOT SQUASHED by Jodi MacArthur
A PRIVATE NIGHTMARE by Joey Froehlich
WAR AND PIECES by J. Travis Grundon
MOTHER'S SOLACE by Alan Spencer
SHEA by Kevin Shamel
UNTITLED by Joey Froehlich
THE NOWHERE ROOM by Andersen Prunty
CARNIVORL by Lee Hughes
HAPPINESS COMES IN SMALL PACKAGES by Brian Barnett

AVAILABLE HERE

See what I'm saying? Huzzah! And amazon is so excited they'll give you FREE shipping if you order them together! Boo. Ya. Ka.

MoOn