THE NEXT BIG THING...A Little About Hollow Mountain Dead

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The Rotting by Jonathan Moon

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Timothy W. Long's Alien Death Rays! and Other Unavoidable Hazards is LIVE!

BarnBurnerBooks is prouder than a puppy with two peters about Timothy W. Long's new collection of wild, freaky Sci-Fi- Alien Death Rays! and Other Unavoidable Hazards!

This book is seven examples of why I love Tim Long with yet another killer cover from the masterful Matt Edgington of Madoosk Design. I write stories to poke your eyes out to and he writes stories that vaporize your mind. Here is a quick contents listing for ya

The Book of Dan
A Shattered Sky
Anal Probes aren’t just for Breakfast Anymore
Last Rays Last Hope
Fast Food Farts
The Lonely Stars
Shit You Won’t See On Oprah (Special chapter from The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole!)

Get your copy here!

Hoo-Doo County Horrors

Hoo-Doo County is a fictional high mountain county I tend to base a bunch of my short stories in. The cities of Hoo-Doo County (Stillwater, Falterwood, Dry Hill,Bentley, St. Jim's and Nallof) and the surrounding dark woods were the setting of nearly all of the stories in my debut collection Mr. Moon's Nightmares. Recently Mr. Moon's Nightmares went out of print (there is still one autographed copy on Amazon, someone needs to buy that shit). I'll be going over the stories, in most cases re-writing them, and slapping them together with newer stories based in Hoo-Doo County in a series I've dubbed Hoo-Doo COunty Horrors. The first of which is available on kindle now!
Strap in and mount up as we head for the dark mountains of Hoo-Doo County. Featuring a wicked cover from Matt Edgington at Madoosk Design the first volume contains the stories-
The Full Moon Express
Roadside Crosses
Witch Hunt Sunrise
Parched
As with each upcoming volume I've included a chapter about the stories.

As a special bonus here is the line-up for the upcoming Hoo-Doo County Horrors Volume 2-
Letter from the Bottom of a Mine Shaft
Little Box of Ladybugs
Corpse Eater
Owing Ira

Pick up Volume 1 now for only .99 here!

Mr. MoOn's Review of Bryan Hall's Containment Room 7

Containment Room 7
By Bryan Hall

Years into the future a massive spaceship known as DARC12 hovers near a black hole. The hundreds of scientists aboard are on an extended mission to study the black hole hoping to glean knowledge to be used for all sorts of causes, some far more sinister than others. While monitoring their target something emerges from the mysterious void and floats impossibly in the direction of the DARC12. Scanners indicate the object is organic though little else. In an intense opening chapter a room full of scientists, engineers, and security personal, bring the strange boulder-looking object aboard. Its presence is immediately felt amongst those near it, affecting each in different ways. The strange organic mass is sent to Containment Room 7 for further study.
The alien life form undergoes a change in appearance once the team of scientists begins their tests becoming fleshy and covered in an inch of strange slime. The hideous thing begins seeping into the minds of the crew, driving some to madness and others to action. What follows is action-packed Humans versus horrible Cosmic Horror aboard a spaceship the size of a small town-complete with multiple levels for recreation, including bowling, movie theaters, and one bar.
The Cosmic Horror is not at all shy and calls followers to it while unleashing chaos upon the others. Aboard a massive vessel such as the DARC12 the chaos unleashed is no small matter. There are zombies in the story but I would not necessarily call this a ‘zombie novel’ (even though the well-done cover says so) as they are just one of many monsters standing in between the head security officer Wilson and his crew (armed with little more than stun guns and batons) and survival. Far worse than the zombies are the humans driven mad by the Cosmic Horror. Even worse than the psychotically devoted humans are the things freed from Bio Lab 1- horrible failed genetic experiments on animals. The dead humans and beasts soon out number the living as the Cosmic Horror overtakes all it can.
I adore Containment Room 7. Mr. Hall gives us an excellent sci-fi adventure with a horror touch and a dark thriller pacing. The cast of characters is rather large but Mr. Hall takes the time to build his characters as the unsettling events aboard DARC12 begin to build as well. From the onset there is an eerie feeling clinging to the pages and as the story progresses the feeling is not only maintained but intensified chapter by chapter. The happenings on DARC12 are bleak and terrible but with Mr. Hall’s sense of timing and atmosphere they are brought to vicarious life for horror and sci-fi fans alike.
Highly recommended to fans of horror, sci-fi, dark thrillers, and zombies. Yeah, yeah, I know I said I wouldn’t call it a ‘zombie novel’ and I’m not, but if you like zombies Containment Room 7 does have them. Nhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifasty ones and lots of ‘em. While I'm at it, I'll also HIGHLY recommend Mr. Hall's story collection,Whispers from the Dark.

Hop on the ill-fated DARC12 here!

STPYOT EXCULSIVE Bonus Track (Story) Super Fun Fan Pack To Poke Your Eyes Out To!

Thanks to Madoosk Design, Fred's Phat Jewelery, and Barn Burner Books, I'm pleased to announce the DEAL OF THE YEAR!It's the STPYEOT Exclusive Bonus Track(Story)Super Fun Fan Pack To Poke Your Eyes Out To for ONLY $20.00!

Check out all the goodies!

1. A signed paperback copy of my new collection of brutal dark fiction, Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To!


2. A brutiful hand-made necklace by Fred at Fred's Phat Jewelery! Choose from Heinous, STPYEOT, or the Barn Burner Books Logo!



3. A random selection of Barn Burner Books and Madoosk.net BOOKMARKS!


4. A four-page coloring book from the talented hand of Matt from Madoosk.net!


AND...

5. AN EXCLUSIVE Flash Fiction piece hand-scrawled on the back of a Stories to Poke Your Eyes Out Promo card by ME! Include something for me to make the short dark story personalized for YOU!

And ALL OF THIS for only $20.00! Paypal 20.00 to spiritgroove1@hotmail.com and then email me at the same address with your shipping address and 2 things I can attempt to write into your story.


(Pepe The Cosmic Purple Skull NOT included)
(Special note-If I ever publish the flash fiction piece I do for you, it will be given credit as first being a gift to YOU. :))

HEINOUS is FREE on Kindle from 4-27 to 4-29

That's right! My horrorcore debut is being given away FREE (ifn' you have a kindle) from today,Friday 27, until Sunday the 29th.

Get the demon...NOTHING is like HEINOUS...
Tell your friends. Tell your friend's friends. Tell your friend's friend's moms. Moms love HEINOUS.

Seriously though, please help me spread the word so I can get hundreds of people reading my work this weekend. ;)


FREE HEINOUS!!!

Wacktards of the Apocalypse is now WACK you can WEAR!

That's right, Wackos, you can show your support for the world of the Wacktards in this hella stylish tee-shirt from Skurvy Ink! Featuring Madoosk Design's killer Wacktards logo in a bright yellow specially designed to burn the evil out of your retinas on a black (goes with EVERYTHING) teeshirt. Swoop by Skurvy Ink today and order you up some of this sweetness.

AND if you haven't read Wacktards of the Apocalypse yet, quit slacking and order here. :)

Line-O-Rama for Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To

My new collection of short dark fiction, Stories To Poke Your Eyes Out To. is now available on kindle from Barn Burner Books. To celebrate its release I'm doing another Line-O-Rama! I've compiled a single line from each of the 17 stories in STPYEOT in a method both scientific and random. It was exhausting. Think of it as a thirty second preview for a three hour movie. :) Behold, STORIES TO POKE YOUR EYES OUT TO LINE-O-RAMA!

HEART OF AN ANGEL- The demon parakeet never did anything but howl and curse, froth and spit, and occasionally make all the meat in the cabin go rotten at once.

REAL LOVE BURNS (STPYEOT REMIX)- The black dog doubled over with raspy laughter as they skinned my sweetheart with beaks and claws and teeth and talons.

POISONED MEAT- Bobby nodded his understanding and David continued, "Make no mistake, Bobby, we are hunters, and we are hunting. We are hunting poisoned meat, and it fights back."

ROADSIDE CROSSES- Insecurity warps into jealousy warps into paranoia warps into rage.

CONVERSING DOCTOR DEFEO- "And here I was jumping to the conclusion- a fair and easy error to make- that your mother was an uneducated whore and your father merely her swiftest and fiercest relative as your previous conversational etiquette indicated."

CORPSE EATER- A strange dragging trail of the black ash-covered slime leads up the hallway to the room with the dead climber in it.

HUMAN AS A VULTURE- Taillights in front of you glow red, angry at your impatience.

DISASTERNOON- "I have hopes and dreams," she tells me because she can't stop lying.

BONE HOME- Hold my hand, my dear, as we walk the grim halls and rotted rooms of Bone Home.

THE MAN WITH THE ZAFTIG GRIN- Blood bubbles over his hefty lips to trickle down chin insignificant.

ALL THAT GLIMMERS ISN'T COPPER- He holds the breath, tastes the blood and dirt, before swallowing it into his chest.

MC STITCHES- He sits in his basement cage, composing the dopest beats humankind has ever dared to imagine.

AMPUTEE DISCO AND THE LORD OF THE GROOVE- The second time, I realized the voice was coming from a limbless man wrapped in neon sheets and lying on a small couch facing the dance floor.

SOUL IN MY THROAT- Sometimes gristle looks just like meat.

SO PROUDLY THEY CRAWL- Rex also happens to be the leader of Hitler's Hammer: a racist cult of rednecks and skinheads that controls a small army of meth-head Satanists throughout the area.

THE SELF-MUTILATION BLUES- It's a suicide note you can dance to, baby.

TEMPER LIKE A HAMMER- The furious cries and curses of unbridled rage ring through the air, dozens of different languages and dialects twsiting into a maelstrom of irate resonance.

THE DEVIL'S BATH SHACK- He held a sign that read, "Gunmetal Tastes Like Cherry" scrawled in black Sharpie.

Grab your kindles (knives) and get to reading (bleeding) HERE!

Barn Burner Books....COMING SOON

Mr. MoOn's Review of A Town Called Suckhole

A Town Called Suckhole
By David W. Barbee





David Barbee serves up a fine slab of Dixie Fried post-apocalyptic buddy comedy with his first full-length novel, A Town Called Suckhole. The first chapter does an incredible job of setting the tone for the novel as well as giving a rich and hilarious history of Barbee’s twisted Southern nuclear survivors.
Our story gets rolling with Suckhole preparing for the annual Hell Yeah Heritage Jamboree; the biggest thing that happens all year in the futuristic Podunk town. Sheriff Billy Jack Bledskoe is investigating a string of brutal of brutal murders but receiving very little help from the extravagant hillbilly mayor, Rusty Boyd Crockwallop, who’s only concern is seeing the Hell Yeah Heritage Jamboree (man, I love saying that) go on without a hitch. With all conventional methods of crime solving exhausted the sheriff drags his deputy/son/translator, Jesco Ray, deep into the toxic swamp to search for answers from a good hearted abomination against god born in the muck and mire known as the outcast Dexter Spikes.
An assassin’s bullet later, Jesco and Dexter are working together on a case no one seems willing to help with. The odd pairing stir up trouble as they follow clues and southern fried instinct that lead them to each of the town’s cliques in turn. They brave the army of heathen street children known as the Hill Bills, they confound Mayor Crockwallop’s militia, and make friends with a high-maintenance neurotic talking whiskey still as they bumble ever closer to those responsible for the mutilated corpses. By the time the two reach the end of their adventure they’ve warped into awkward friends in an endearing way.
Barbee creates a detailed post-apocalyptic South that manages to parody the best (and the worst) the present-South has to offer. No stereotype is left unmolested giving the town and its history a solid yet hilarious feel. I spent so much time giggling I didn’t realize how emotionally invested I was in the characters until the end.
A Town Called Suckhole is a great book for Bizarro newbies as it contains several of the traits which I love about the genre. This book is full of weird characters doing crazy things in an insane world. Also, like a few other great Bizarro books A Town Called Suckhole packs a surprising amount of heart in amongst the strangeness and mystery.
Highly recommended for fans of Bizarro, comedy, and buddy action flicks.

One way trips to Suckhole here.

Mr. MoOn's Review of Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms

Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms
By Jason Wuchenich




Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms is a quick two novella collection from one of independent fiction’s most twisted talents. Composed of the most disgusting fairy tale I’ve ever read, Stinky Incubus, and the most sex-crazed apocalypse story I’ve ever read, Skank Clusters, Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms is the most fun I’ve had while fighting the urge to vomit. This is gross out fiction at its rude and comedic best.
Stinky Incubus is the tale of Lemmy, an incubus that can only achieve physical form with flatulence. The ranker the gas the longer he can remain visible. In order to get good and upset enough to materialize for longer lengths of time Lemmy maintains a diet sure to make your innards rumble. While on a quest for ingredients for his vomit-inducing buffets Lemmy happens across an old crone and her fair maiden daughter. Lemmy falls madly in love with the daughter and visits her in her torrid dreams. As difficult as an existence is for a demon that requires farts to materialize is, throwing love in the mix only ensures chaos will ensue when the talented hands of Wuchenich are pulling the strings. Each character in this twisted little story has their own quirks and kinks that you’ll have to read for yourself because me glaring over them does them no justice. This story deals with folk lore, crap, tiny minstrel groups, feces, deadbeat water djinns, poop, labia coats, dookie, dreams, defecation, and true love. Yes, that much excrement but if you possess the continence required you’ll walk away amazed at Wuchenich’s ability to tickle your funny bone, sour your stomach, and pull on your heartstrings all at the same time.
Skank Clusters takes us down a completely different strange highway. The story is about tiny sluts that grow in clusters on vines. They possess highly addictive qualities and soon people the world over are strung out on the delicious little tramps. We follow the team of Tuggy and Raster as the have an adventure on the brim of the apocalypse as the world is over ran with sex-crazed psychopaths. Quick humor slaps you around as the boys stumble upon a way to save humanity. A second smaller story intertwines within this one that has a darker tone and relates closer to a few Skank junkies. Again, Wuchenich provides characters rich in oddity and humor in a quick paced story.
All in all Dinner Bell for the Dream Worms is disgusting, vile, rude, hilarious and very well written. Easily one of the fun-est extreme fiction books I’ve read in recent years. Highly recommended for fans of Bizarro, comedy, and extreme fiction fans in need of giggle fits.

Get your giggle-gag on here.

HEINOUS Nominated for Horror Novel of the Year at the Preeditors & Editors Poll

Whew, long title but I gotta admit I just love the sound of that. My brutal baby and first novel, Heinous, is up for votes now over at Critter's Writers Workshop.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

You can read what a few super talented writer folk had to say about HEINOUS when threatened with blackmail and tickle fights here.

You can read a sample of the wickedness here

You can order the wickedness here so everyday can be gloriously HEINOUS!

And to cast your vote and make this guy giddy clickly here.

Thanks for visiting my darkness. :)