Mr. Moon Interviews Patrick D'Orazio

I am very proud to bring you another Monkey Faced Demon interview with another one of my very talented brothers from The Library of the Living Dead, Patrick D'Orazio! Mr.D'Orazio is not only a friend but someone I've had the honor to share a ToC with a few times now (we both have killer stories in The Zombist and Houdini Gut Punch). Not only is he a friend but he is literally so talented it leaks from his ears in small streams (making him one of the most popular guys to sit next to at conventions). He is so prolific he was like, 'Debut novel, *scoff*, I'm doing a damned DEBUT TRILOGY and it's gonna frickin' rock!' Okay, I don't know if he ever had that verbalized inner dialogue but I like to imagine he did. With out any further jibber jabber, Patrick D'Orazio...



Q. I like to start these off with your influences. Who or what made you want to write?

A. Well, there are people who’ve influenced me, like family members and friends who have always encouraged my desire to read and write and to be creative in general, and also writers who know how to tell a story that sucks you in and leaves you gasping for more once the story is over. World builders who create intricate places that have blown my mind over the years and fill me with envy and the desire to do something similar, or at least take a shot at it. Of course, the horror influences include both movie makers like Romero and Carpenter as well as writers like King, Straub, and many others. But other independent writers out there also rock my socks off-the folks who just write for the joy of it, and may never know for sure if they will become household names and aren’t really worried about such things. They are the folks that keep me motivated day and night to get better and do something that matters to me, even if what I come up with doesn’t matter to anyone else.


Q. You’ve built up quite a resume of short stories. Can you give us a run down of ALL you short story appearances over the past few years as well as this year?

A. Well, actually, I’ve only been writing short stories that I’ve been trying to get published for a little over a year now, but here is the list of those published or to be published soon:
“I’m Sorry” appears in Letters from the Dead
“The Woeful Tale of Dalton McCoy” appears in The Zombist
“A Soldier’s Lament” appears in Eye Witness: Zombie
“Consumer’s Paradise” appears in Houdini Gut Punch
“Compulsion” appears in Daily Bites of Flesh 2011
“Humans Being Human” appears in Zombiality
“You Only Die Twice” appears in Doomology
“What A Fool Believes” will appear in Zombidays
“Little Lost Lamb” appear will appear in Deep Horror
“NZLB” will appear in Night of the Giving Dead
“The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Zombie Slayers” will appear in The Moron’s Guide to the Zombocalypse
“Hell in the Family” will appear in Groanology
“Slow Goth and St. North” will appear in No More Heroes
“Dog Days” will appear in Rapid Decomposition
“Swing Shift” will appear in Nocturnal Emissions
“What’s Eating You?” will appear in Groanology II
“The Intervention” will appear in A Glitch in the Continuum
“The Collective” will appear in Fearology III: Planting the Seeds of Terror
“Cicada” will appear in Zombie: The Other Fright Meat
“Victus Mortuus” will appear in Zombies without Borders
“VRZ” will appear in Look What I Found
“Legacy” will appear in appear in Live and Let Undead
“Animal Magnetism” will appear in a Collaboration of the Dead Anthology
and I am also a contributor of a couple of chapters to the novel project that is currently titled Collaboration of the Dead with a huge array of authors.

(Interviewer Note A: say it with me, "Dammmmmmn.')
(Interviewer Note B; I'm in Collaboration of the Dead too!)

Q. Fast zombies or slow zombies?

A. I wrote about slow zombies in my trilogy, but I am an equal opportunity fan of all types of zombies. Slow have the allure of being able to build that dread as they slowly close in, giving survivors the time to devour each other, at least figuratively, before the zombies ever get the chance to. But fast zombies have that adrenaline pumping, no one is getting out of this thing alive, type tempo to them that really freak me out as well. I plan on writing a few stories using fast zombies in the near future, because they fit with the narrative I am cooking up. So I guess fast or slow, it all depends on the setting and what works for the particular story is my wishy washy answer.



Q. Favorite zombie movie? Why?

A. Day of the Dead and Dawn of the Dead are neck and neck, but there are so many that make the list of really great movies. The remake of Dawn revitalized my passion for zombies after a few years away from them, so it gets honorable mention along with 28 Days Later. But it almost seems unfair, because there are a lot of movies that have contributed to my love affair of zombies like Shaun of the Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Dead Alive…and of course, Night of the Living Dead. So I suppose I am being wishy washy once again in making a firm choice as one absolute best movie.


Q. Can you tell us about the Dark Trilogy?

A. No! Er, sorry, I always wanted to say that when asked in an interview. Actually, I can, but instead of giving a synopsis of the plot, I think I would rather focus on what I was trying to do, which was to pay respect to what really drew me to zombies and zombie stories in the first place-the human dynamic. Developing real characters who don’t know what the hell they’re doing as the world falls apart all around them. I think that drew me to what Romero created in Night and Dawn of the Dead, and it really walloped me when I watched them for the first time and the hundredth time. It really hit home when I saw Day of the Dead even more so. You can hate certain people for acting the way they do, but to say that they’re completely wrong for trying to do whatever they need to so they can survive, even if it seems evil on the surface, makes it all the more fascinating to me. No one comes out of this mess unscathed, and most won’t come out of it alive…that is what drove me on with this story. Everyone is shattered, not only by the dead rising up all around them, but by what they are forced to do, and what they are forced to accept about themselves and what it takes to stay alive.


Q. What are you working on right now?

A. I am working on another short story for an anthology called Soul Survivors, while at the same time working on another book set in the same universe as my Dark Trilogy, though it will stand separately from the trilogy. I have some other novel concepts in the works as well that I am outlining and writing up a few chapters for…the key for me is trying to stay centered on a single project at a time, which can be tricky. Too many ideas, too little time.





Q. How far would you make it through Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory?

A. Willy would be my bitch. I have thousands of ideas for uses for chocolate and candy that he never even dreamed up. The Department of Defense has contacted me about some of those ideas, so I can’t speak about them publicly. Old Willy, he would kick me out before I got through the front door of the place because I would have already schooled his Wonky Wonka ass the first moment I saw him.

(Interviewer Note: He who controls the chocolate controls the world.)

Q. Who is your ALL-TIME favorite bad guy from film or book?

A. Well, there are two of them, for different reasons. Randall Flagg from The Stand and the entire Dark Tower series of books, because Stephen created someone that was persistent and remained an influence across worlds, across realities, and tore that shit up. He keeps cropping up, like a bad penny, and has different names, different images, but he is always someone who will mess with your head more than anyone else.
Another one that isn’t necessarily a bad guy, but I loved what he did was The Mule from Isaac Asimov’s Second Foundation, because all he did was disrupt everyone in an entire galaxy’s and their view of how things should be-he knocked everything off kilter from some perfect plan of the future and of history. He stirred things up in an epic way, which I guess makes him a bad guy in a lot of ways. But it also makes him cool as hell. Screw all the math, because there will always be some fly who gets in the ointment and makes a mess of all your pretty little toys.


Q. Seriously, what are the odds of an actual Zombie Apocalypse?
A. I give odds as about fifty-fifty that someone will come up with some sort of prion based assault on us that turns most of us into maniacs. Then again, the term “zombie” can be applied loosely to about two-thirds of the population already, so maybe it has already happened and we just don’t realize it yet. They don’t have to eat your brains for you to turn into a walking lump of stupidity…you just have to let it happen. Most of us are more than happy to do just that.



Q. Who said, ‘You said it yourself, Dude, She kidnapped herself.’ ?

A. I don’t answer that question on Shabbos! I don’t answer that question, and I sure as hell don’t roll on Shomer shabbos!

(Interviewer Note: I am so buying you a White Russian when we go bowlin'.)

Q. Aside form being an author you’ve been a dedicated and honest reviewer of independent works. Where do you think Independent Horror will be in three and a half years?

A. Wow…well, I can base my answer on what has happened over the past four or five years. There has been an explosion of more stuff out there, both bad and good, because it has become that much easier to produce your own stuff, but at the same time, some of the smaller publishers have become more main stream with their offerings by partnering with bigger publishers (like Permuted Press has done). The smarter big guys might think about creating smaller, independent partners, like movie studios have done, where some big studio has an art house wing that gives smaller budget offerings more exposure while still maintaining their indy cred. But who knows if they’ll catch on? I think more small press writers will make it big, but do it on their own terms. There are authors out there self-publishing and getting in with smaller presses that are making a name for themselves just by being on facebook, twitter, and having fans who spread the word for them far and wide. They get on message boards and they toss out samples of their work and they are just as good, if not better, than some of the big names out there. They don’t write for a demographic or because this or that is “in” right now, they write what they want to write and to hell with whether or not it finds an audience. Good stuff finds an audience that craves what they write, because it goes against the grain and doesn’t fit into some sort of pigeonhole. Again, not all of it is good, but it’s amazing how far someone can go these days without having the big guns of a huge publishing house behind them. Electronic books will continue to expand the field. How easy is it to buy a book for $.99 to $2.99 for the nook or kindle instead of shelling out $20 for some big named authors work? That will keep things rocking. I think there will be exponential change. The big houses will adapt and modify their approach, while the little guys keep thinking of new ways to get their stuff out there without being beholden to any of them.

Q. Quick, name drop five great Indy Horror writers!

A. I could name a lot more than that, but here goes, off the top of my head: Tony Monchinski, Craig DiLouie, William Todd Rose, David Dunwoody, and Tonia Brown. I hate leaving out the tons of other great writers that I have devoutly followed and enjoyed, but they were the first ones that came to mind.

DEATHMATCH QUESTION

Q. Now, I happen to know you are almost as much of a fan of Science Fiction as you are of Zombies. So let’s mix things up a bit and give you a good gory Sci-Fi DEATHMATCH….

Deep in the 8th Dimension Buckaroo Banzi is cruising with his band of merry men (A.K.A. The Hong Kong Cavilers) are blasting to Earth to perform a rock concert as only they can. A sudden explosion rocks the ship, descending the crew into chaos. The smoke clears and there stands Dr. Emilio Lizardo surrounded by four of those nasty H.R. Geiger inspired, Sigourney Weaver tormenting Aliens!

In 1000 words (give or take) describe the carnage and the out come!

A. Immediately, Buckaroo and the Cavaliers see right through the aliens because they’ve all travelled through the eight dimension and recognize them as the Red Lectroids they really are. Lord John Whorfin (aka Emilio Lizardo), John Yaya, John Bigboote, John Gomez and John O’Connor don’t realize Buckaroo and crew recognize them and start spitting up some of the battery acid they’ve been drinking to stick with the alien imagery they’ve chosen.
Whorfin goes into his tired spiel about demanding the Oscillation Overthruster from Banzai so he can rescue his buddies from the 8th Dimension and they can get back to Planet 10, or he’ll sick the aliens on the Cavaliers. Buckaroo tells him that Planet 10 was sent through an interdimensional warp and the Black Lectroids are now cast members of The Jersey Shore, so they can get revenge on them if they stick around on earth rather than trying to get back to their home planet.
Whorfin and the other John’s take off and head to the shore, then proceed to beat the snot out of Snookie, The Situation, and all the other douche nozzles on the TV show. Since they still look like aliens to everyone watching on MTV, the network immediately signs them up for a five season revival of Celebrity Death Match/The Real World, where they end up killing everyone from every different reality show on television, as well as Springer, the Maury show, and all those damn Judge shows that play during the day. The ratings are through the roof, with the week where they shove a cattle prod up one of Sanjaya’s (from American Idol) orifices it surpasses ratings for the Super Bowl.
Whorfin and the John’s get jaded with their celebrity status and the fact that Buckaroo Banzai and the Honk Kong Cavaliers still outsell them in comic books, concert revenue, and t-shirt sales, so they plan on taking them on once again, and challenge them to a throw down on their TV show.
Buckaroo, who is scheduled to remove a malignant brain tumor from the President’s brain, refuses at first, but the John’s kidnap Penny Priddy once again and Buckaroo is forced to come up with a way to rescue her. Disguising himself as a Hollywood agent, Perfect Tommy meets with John Whorfin and tells him that NBC is creating a remake of Third Rock from the Sun, but this time Dick Solomon has been replaced by the Trinity Killer from the Fourth Season of Dexter, and they want him for the role. Whorfin refuses at first, but Tommy promises him that he will be able to kill at least one “monkey boy” a week if he signs up for the show and backs out of his MTV contract. Whorfin agrees and ditches the other John’s. MTV sues, but by then Whorfin has already joined Charlie Sheen on his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour to promote the new show and has let Penny go because Charlie tells him that she doesn’t have Adonis DNA and is a troll in disguise. Then Whorfin proceeds to kill everyone at MTV, because they no longer play music freakin’ videos, like they did when the Buckaroo movie came out back in the eighties.
Buckaroo realizes that the idea of the show that Perfect Tommy came up with is actually a pretty good idea and invests in it and convinces the people on Spike TV to air it. It goes on to win an Emmy for best comedy and Whorfin gets a Golden Globe for best actor. Buckaroo and him go on to become good friends and work together to invent a new and improved Oscillation Overthruster that will take them to the eleventh dimension, which is just like the tenth dimension, only louder.
To be continued…



Son of a BITCH, Patrick! How can you leave a 'To be continued...? Why, man, why? You just made my OCD flare up like a damned tire and broken pallet bonfire!
Thanks for the fantastic interview and the OCD attack, Mr. D'Orazio!

You can find Patrick on his blog here.

You can buy his books (and some of his antho appearances) here.


NEXT UP...sometime...Jordan 'Boss' Krall!!!!!

Mr. Moon Interviews David Agranoff

David Arganoff is a man of many hats. I have been lucky enough to ask him a few questions, however, I’m only going to be speaking to the David in the cool writer beanie and talking only about books and such. David is in fact so fascinating that he is the first fellow author I’ve interviewed that I will post a link to another interview at the end of this one so you can read more about this creative, dedicated force of nature. But for now…AWAKE Monkey Faced Demon!




Q. Let’s start at the beginning, what made you want to be a writer?

A. I have always loved the power of stories, and from a young age I wanted to make up my own Science Fiction. My first Sci-fi stories were composed before I could type. My mom and I read a series of Sci-fi Adventure novels by Issac Asimov called Lucky Starr. I begged her to get Lucky Starr and the Rings of Saturn, because the cover was cool. She read all seven books to me. I wanted to make up my own Lucky Starr stories but Mom suggested I create my own character. So I dictated my first story to her and she typed on her old Smith Corona typewriter.

When I got a little older I discovered horror. I remember being in 7th grade and reading Stephen King's The Stand, the scope of the story and the terror of it was very real to me. Then I read Clive Barker, John Carpenter movies, they stimulated my imagination, and there was nothing else I ever wanted to be.

The ability to create a story that entertains and stimulates the imagination is pretty much the coolest job I can think of. I have a learning disability, and early in my adult life I talked myself out of trying. My Grammar was (and is) pretty awful. But I dedicated myself to the task, when I was about 27 years old to follow my first dream.

Ray Bradbury is correct about writing when he says the first million words are terrible, No matter how much rejection I faced I kept plugging away until my ideas and execution got better. It was long learning process but now I believe I am writer I dreamed of being when I was in middle school.


Q. Your novel The Vegan Revolution with Zombies is not only a well written zombie novel but it features one of the most realistic reasons behind the rising dead. How long did it take from the spark of idea to holding a copy in your hands?

A. Of the six novels I have written, Vegan Rev is the only one that didn't marinate in my gray matter for years. For example I first had the idea for Hunting the Moon Tribe during the second year of Clinton being in office. I saw Interview with a Vampire in the theater and walked out thinking, I could do better than that. I worked on it as a screenplay for several years, developed notes, outlines and did tons of research on Chinese mythology. The writing of the novel only took three months, but the various drafts and formats have had 15 years of work.

As for Vegan Revolution...With Zombies. Carlton Mellick approached me about doing a vegan zombie novel, it took me a few weeks of brainstorming, I chased a few other stupid ideas before I thought of the one that worked. Once I had the story and the setting, the character who works at a “with zombie” publishing house, it all came together quick. Pitched it to the Eraserhead team in February, and two months later I was writing. That only took about a month, and we spent the summer, putting it together. Filmed the trailer in august. We had the big release at the Portland Vegfest in September and sold out of books in 2 hours. From idea to Vegfest was about nine months.

Can't thank the Eraserhead crew enough, they really believed in this book, and pushed me out of my comfort zone to do it. I have written comedy short stories, but I never thought about doing a whole novel of satire, but I have fun and I'll do it again for sure. I am very proud of the book.

(Interviewer note: The trailer for the Vegan Revolution...with Zombies is incredibly awesome and very worth watching)

Q. Do you remember your first published story?

A. My partner Cari and I Co-wrote a vampire story called Addiction, that is still on the internet in a webzine (along side A story written by a young Cameron Pierce). It is a bloated over written story that contains some interesting ideas. Cari is a great writer and she has a hand written half finished experimental novel about a feminist super hero called Shrink, that is simply amazing, I hope one day she will finish it. She also wrote a great story that is the very limited hard to find Vault of Punk horror Anthology.

In many ways my first serious published work was a a chapbook called “The Gutter Limits” of horror and bizarro flash fiction that I co wrote with four friends under the name Booger Murphy. There are only about 100 of those out in the world, it pretty good stuff. Both Cari and I have stories in that book, I have a story in that called “He Gets Around,” about a serial killer Yard Gnome. I love that story. In a lot of ways I consider that my first published work.



Q. Cannibals or zombies? Why?

A. Cannibalism is not very vegan friendly for sure, but to be honest cannibalism doesn't seem any different or worse to me as meat-eating in general. I am turned off by all flesh-eating Bud in Day of the Dead,Ronald MacDonald or Leatherface it is all the same to me.

Zombies at least have no control over it, they can't help it. So I suppose I'll go with zombies.


Q. I’m a studious interviewer and checked out your blog before diddling this string of randomness I call and interview together. I see you got THREE very different novels coming ready this year. The first being Hunting the Moon Tribe. Can you tell us about it and when it will be available?

A. Very Soon! When I was kid in Indiana we had a horror host Sammy Terry who showed Horror movies on Fridays at 11:30. After Sammy Terry they would show Black Belt theater, so Friday nights would often go from Hammer to Shaw brothers movies. I would tape them and watch them back to back on Saturday mornings. I grew up a fan of both genres. I love Wuxia Pan movies which are basically chinese kungfu fantasy and I wanted to do my own take with monsters and vampire hunters. Really make the vampires intense and scary.

Hunting the Moon Tribe is vampire novel, but also a lot more. It's a heroes journey novel influenced Chinese mythology, and Kung fu movies. I am very proud of it because it is pure storytelling, and I don't think it is like anything else out there.




Q. The second, the awesomely titled Goddamn Killing Machines, seems to have an Apocalypse Now feel. Was the movie an influence?

A. That film was based on Conrad's Heart of Darkness and of course they were both an influence, but I would say World War II men on a mission movies (The Dirty Dozen, and Force 10 / Guns of Navarone) were a bigger influence.

It is the story of a group of military contractors in the 22nd century wanted for war crimes who are given a mission to kill an unidentified target on a hostile moon. Basically the whole ecosystem is hostile to human life. The target is somewhere along a river 11 times the length of the amazon.

There is another huge influence on the novel, but I think it gives to much away about the last third of the book. This is the most hardcore, brutal novel I have written it gets pretty ugly towards the end.

Q. Who said, “Smokey, you are entering a world of pain?”

A. Jackie Gleason, the honeymooners dude. BTW I saw Smokey and the Bandit 3 in the theater. My family had a Smokey and the Bandit 8-track we listened to on road trips in our wood paneled station wagon. No joke. I am not as old as that makes me sound.

(Interviewer note: Oh, shit, did I just quote Smokey and the Bandit? I was thinking Walter Sobchek from The Big Lewbowski but if it was also spoken in a movie with Burt Reyolds and his gorgeous mustache then you, sir, earned ten bonus points.)

Q. Six horror movies for an all-night movie marathon?

A. in order: Prince of Darkness, Hellraiser, Devil's Backbone, Chinese Ghost story, Susperia, and The Beyond.


Q. Typically, I ask all my interviewees how far they would make it through Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. However the last vegan I interviewed, Jeremy C. Shipp, informed me chocolate held no sway of him and he alerted me to a race of plant based face painted midgets known as the Poompa Ploompas. So instead I ask you if you could get stuck inside any movie from your youth which would it be?

A. Chocolate and sweets have a sway over me, and for a vegan living in Portland is like living in Willie Wonkas. Read Stumptown vegans blog if you don't believe me.

To answer your question it would be Star Wars or Star Trek, I'm not sure I have what it takes to be a Jedi. In terms of Star Trek I would love to serve on the Enterprise. I would of course do everything I could to never beam down in a red shirt, that uniform would be in the laundry every time I pulled an away mission. I would also totally hang with Spock, Vegans should stick together.

I also would love to have been Indiana Jones when I was a kid and for the record I saw Raiders with my dad on opening day, and I think when the flying ghost turned into a skeleton is still one the things that most freaked me out ever. Close your eyes Marion! He knew to do that because he was a professor and book smart. Very cool.


Q. Your story ‘Punkupine Moshers of the Apocalypse’ is included in the new Bizzaro Starter Kit Purple. It just so happens Purple is my new favorite starter kit and due to the incredible quality and diversity of the stories I can’t even pick an absolute favorite. Can you?

A. For those who are not familiar with the starter kits I am in the third anthology of novellas by various Bizarro authors. I am super stoked to be in that collection, and love my novella which I have described as an epic fantasy meets 80's punk rock. As for a favorite, this is not hard, Cody Goodfellow is an old friend and one of my favorite authors. His novella Home wreckers is a great dystopian bizarro take on gender issues and has some excellent moments of looking at the differences between men and women.
Matt Revert, Jeff Burk, Cameron Pierce,Garret Cook, Athena Villaverde and lots more. The quality is very high and it works out to be $1 per author to buy. You can't lose if you like weird fiction.

(Interviewer note: All three Bizarro Starter Kits are fantastic reads. If you haven't read them yet check them out here.)


Q. You write in wide range of genres are there any you don’t see yourself exploring?

A. I will never write a musical, well I don't think I will. I think of myself as a horror writer, because that is what my childhood dream was to be. As an adult I feel a bit more kinship to the Bizarro community in many ways because of the DIY aspects, which is natural considering my punk rock and activist background. Like many authors I don't like to be limited by genre. I love horror and Science Fiction, but I also write stuff that to weird even for those genres. I can tell you this I don't see much point is telling a story unless it pushes my imagination. With horror that can be trying to stimulate some strong emotions, With Science Fiction I think it is about pushing the imagination beyond the the normal. Bizarro I think another step even further beyond.

The story has to interest me, and I have to believe I am the one one who can tell it. If those two parameters can be met I'll write. I'll write a horror western some day, I have a plan for an anti-war horror novel, I have kungfu fantasy for kids I'm working on, and several punk rock themed horror novels.


Q. Quick, name drop five Bizarro talents!

A. Eric Mays, D. Harlan Wilson, Gina Ranalli, Cameron Pierce and Bizarro Super fan Zoe Welch. Any serious fan of bizarro needs to know these names. I command thee to Google.


DEATHMATCH QUESTION

Q. In a brutal alternate reality the Political Machine has resurrected every former president and encased their re-animated zombie corpses in well armed cyborg bodies. The cyborg dead presidents have cloned Ted Nugent and formed an army of redneck archers. Only a handful stand against the legion of oppression…Dee Snider rises from the ashes of a nameless former metropolis, in full Twisted Sister gear, and spots Cyber Ronald Reagan stomping on a school house. He howls the chorus to ‘Street Justice’ and grabs the ex-presidents attention. In 1,000 words (give or take) describe the battle and the carnage!

A.

Dee looked at his feet. The bodies of Jello and Zappa were pinned to the floor by arrows, The Nugent clone army approached marching and humming the riff to cat scratch fever. Dee looked back at the ruins. Disk Jockey, Musicland, and Tower records were just beyond the flames. The Regan-bots continued to beat on the school house, chanting “Conform!”
It looked hopeless. The Nuge clone army would be here soon and replace the Dead kenneys with Foreigner, WASP with Bad Company, Rap music with Foghat. Ice-T was right about Freedom of speech, and it was going down. All that stood between a PMRC apocalypse and wasteland of classic rock was Captain Howdy.
Dee snapped his fingers twice and Burn in hell starts, without the intro. The Regan-bot hears the commotion and turns with a scream. Dee spins threw the crowd of Nugent clones dropping them to the ground before they can raise their bows. The Regan-bot hits the ground running.
They meet on the field of battle, Regan-bot doesn't know what to make of a 6'5 blond haired man in drag and Indian war paint. It is just enough time for him to grab Ronnie by the throat.
“Well Ronnie, Your gonna burn in hell!”

AWESOME! Thank you, Mr. Agranoff for the killer interview and entertaining DEATHMATCH.

You can buy David's books here.

For an very in-depth interview with David clicky here.

David's blog-chock full of reviews, news, and interviews is located here.

Until the next time, have fun and stay scary, friends!

Mr. Moon and the Interviews Three

In honor of the very near Mr.MoOn's Nightmares All Day Day I have had a flurry of interviews! Take some time and give them all a good reading. Thank you!

Crystal Conner hunts me down and grills me about Mr.MoOn's Nightmares All Day Day,The Apocalypse and Satan's Glory Hole, and working with a wild man like Tim Long here....


I'm the Featured Author over at Juniper Grove this week! Swing through and check out my interview with the awesome Jadis here...



And then Ken Cain gives Mr.Moon's Nightmares a good reviewin' and me a taste of my own DEATHMATCH medicine here...



I hope you can all take a minute to check these all out! And I want to say thank you to all three for interviewing me! I also have one more coming up from none other than Headshot Heather! Stay tuned.

Mr. MoOn's Nightmares All Day Day is only 5 days away!

Prize pack so far-
1. The Zombist-Library of the Living Dead
2. Unbound and Other Tales-written and signed by David Dunwoody
3. Season of Death- by ESB
4. Rotten Little Animals-written and signed by Kevin Shamel
5. DOOM MAGNETIC!- written and signed by William Pauley III
6. 1123- By Jason S. Hornsby
7. King Scratch- written and signed by Jordan Krall, also signed by artist William Pauley the III

so far 7 books, two with William Pauley's signature!!!

Mr. Moon Interviews William Pauley III

I'm sitting in a small dark room with stale smoke swirling around me. I've turned up the radio and let the animals out of their cages. I've smashed all the light bulbs and stepped on the broken glass. No, it's not my birthday. I'm trying to get in the right state of mind to talk with William Pauley III. Mr. Pauley is a hard working bizarro author/editor that writes quick moving bizarro fiction that jumps genres faster than Jamey Jasta from Hatebreed can do a pop star kick. Seriously friends, William Pauley III will be at the forefront of bizarro authors leaving their stain on the literary world and you should get hip to him now. Take for example this interview...it's chock full of laughs, pop culture nightmares, and Pauley's undeniable attitude. Enjoy!

Q. First of all, can I call you Pauley 3?

A. Yes, but only if you call me William first.
(Interviewer Note: Too fancy and rich for a damned nickname, huh?)

Q. Okay now that that’s out of the way, what are the earliest influences on your writing? Please include any social factors for wanting to write in addition to other authors and their work. What made you want to write?

A. I’ve always loved to read. I remember when I was a child my parents would often take me to the library. I was always drawn towards science fiction and mysteries mainly. Stuff like Encyclopedia Brown and those fun little ‘choose-your-own-adventure’ books. I also loved Goosebumps, which I think may be why I love B-movies so much now, especially horror and sci-fi B-movies. I was also very, very influenced by 90’s Nickelodeon shows – pretty much all of them. Nickelodeon was so weird and funny back then. I would be surprised to find a bizarro author who didn’t grow up watching Nickelodeon. Dr. Seuss, Shel Silverstein, and Roald Dahl also became major influences for me. When I got a little older, around middle school age, I started reading more ‘grown up’ authors such as Ray Bradbury, George Orwell and H.G. Wells. While I always enjoyed horror films, I never really started reading horror until years later.

My first memory of actually writing was when I was about eight years old. My grandma gave me a blank notebook. I remember thinking that I wanted to write until every single page was filled up. I didn’t end up writing that much, but what I did write was a short story about the military finding an alien body and doing an autopsy on it. During the autopsy, the alien wakes up and kills everybody. A couple of years later, the movie INDEPENDENCE DAY came out and I was so pissed. I was convinced that they had stolen my story. But really, the story isn’t that original anyway. Looking back now, I am pretty sure that I had even stolen the idea from a documentary I had watched anyway. But yeah, I was a pissed little ten year old for a while, haha.

Q. I like my fiction weird and dark, and sometimes I like it short…so it seems this The New Flesh is made just for me. Just in case it isn’t could you tell us about it?

A. Actually, it was made just for you! The New Flesh is a blogzine that I started about a year and a half ago that specialized in publishing weird stories. When I first got brave enough to send my stories into magazines, I found that a lot of my stories were being rejected because of how weird they were. Since there weren’t really any places to publish weird flash fiction, I had to submit to the closest thing – horror flash websites and sci-fi websites. Then after the tenth or eleventh “this is too weird” letter, and knowing that I had many writer friends with this same problem, I decided to start my own website. We’ve got some killer tales, too! You should definitely check us out if weird is your thing.



Q. I enjoyed the hell out of Doom Magnetic! The high action bizarro mix of Sci-Fi Western and Violent Crime Horror makes for one of my favorite novellas of the year. And now I hear there’s a frak load more of Doom Magnetic to still be unleashed. Fill me in.

A. Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed it. And yes, you’ve heard right. Doom Magnetic! and its two sequels, Doom Magnetic!! and Doom Magnetic!!!, will be released in a single volume tentatively titled, THE COMPLETE DOOM MAGNETIC! through LegumeMan books. LegumeMan had read the first book and liked it so much that they slapped me with a check for $5,000,000 [notice I said ‘slapped me with’ not ‘paid me’] to publish it and its sequels. I can’t really give away any of the plot details just yet, but you can expect more fast-paced, facked-out mayhem with your cowboy pal, Maundin, and the ever evil Qoser, the Japanese assassin with a cue-ball eye. It is going to kick your ass.

(Interviewer note: Keep your eyes turned towards Australia for this KILLER collection of awesome bizarro story!!!!)

Q. What else are you working on?

A. Right now I am crazy busy writing the Doom Magnetic! sequels, but I also have another book in the works called Demolition Ya-Ya. It’s a novel about a man who wakes up in the middle of the desert to find that he is melting. He has no memory of who he is or why he is melting, but he soon finds himself caught in a dangerous game. It is a very dark sci-fi/bizarro/horror tale that will be published by The Library of Bizarro Horror Press alongside a novel by the great Jordan Krall. I’m very excited about working with both The Library of Bizarro Horror and Jordan Krall.

I also have a book coming out VERY soon from Grindhouse Press called The Brothers Crunk – An 8-Bit Fack-It-All Adventure in 2D. If you grew up in the eighties playing Atari, SEGA, or the almighty NES, then you won’t want to miss this weird little book where the characters live in a world that uses classic video game accessories as real weapons. Look for it to hit in the next month or so.

(Interviewer Note: I can honestly say, as The Library of Bizarro Horror, that we are honored to work with both William Pauley III and Jordan Krall...this will rip faces off!)

Q. Who is your all-time favorite bad guy from movies or literature?

A. Oh man, this is a toughie. I tend to like villains much more than heroes, so I have a pretty long list of ultimate badasses. I really like The Joker. I really, really enjoyed Gary Oldman’s character in Leon, The Professional – man, he was insane! I also really like Mr. Gone from the comic book series The Maxx. He had his head cut off twice and the man still fucking owned! But my all-time favorite? Probably Darryl Revok from the movie Scanners. If anyone else can think of a more brilliant badass than Michael Ironside, then I’d love to hear it.


Q. Why does William Pauley III write bizarro fiction instead of civil war romance novels?

A. Start up The Library of Civil War Romance Press and I will get to writing.

(Interviewer Note: Maybe we'd finally get rich!)


Q. If you could pick 6 horror movies for an all night movie marathon which would they be?
A. Only 6?! Okay… off the top of my head: Tokyo Gore Police, The Brood, The Thing, Dust Devil, Microwave Massacre, and Let Me In (no, not LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. Yes, I’ve seen both versions and prefer the remake).


Q. Speaking of that what is your favorite Disney movie?

A. Tron.

(Interviewer Note: Niiiiice!)


Q. While we are on a roll how far would you make it through Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?

A. To the very end. And when Mr. Wonka gave me the factory, I’d wait until the old fart kicked the bucket, sell it and make millions.


Q. Frankenstein or the Wolfman?

A. Frankenstein. I can’t stand werewolves. Boooorrrriiiinnnggg…


Q. Water, Whiskey, or coffee?

A. Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.


Q. If you could kick one super hero in the nards with no repercussions who would it be?

A. Superman, even though it would probably break my foot rather than hurt him. Fancy alien asshole.

Q. Who said, “That rug really tied the room together…did it not?”?

A. THE DUDE.

(Interviewer Note: I would have also accepted Walter Sobchek, I had to watch The Big Lebowski this morning to make sure The Dude said it too. Damn, it there goes my streak.)

Q. Any advise to aspiring writer types?

A. Don’t take advice.


Q. Quick, first name your all time favorite piece of bizarre fiction and then name drop five bizarre talents!

A. My all-time favorite piece of bizarre fiction is Mark Z. Danielewski’s HOUSE OF LEAVES. Check it out if you get the chance. Oh and I’m also nearly finished reading Jordan Krall’s BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS which may very well end up being my favorite bizarro book ever. It’s damn good and should be available soon. Five bizarre talents? 1) Jordan Krall, 2) Matthew Revert, 3) Garrett Cook, 4) Steve Lowe, 5) Chris Bowsman (look for his excellent debut early next year)

DEATHMATCH Question

Q. Your character Qoser from Doom Magnetic, he of the cueball eye and the ability to open the Doom Magnetic, is searching the galaxy for the man known as Maudin accompanied by a small army of the ferocious little bastards known as Mopes. Qoser follows Maudin’s scent to a Brokencyde show. Qoser and his mopes end up in the screamocrunksters dressing room. Three burley body guards surround the brightly attired rocker/clubers. Undaunted by the men Qoser does what he does and asks if they know where Maudin is. The band responds by dousing Qoser with champagne. His cueball eye ball twitches and chaos erupts. Describe the carnage and the outcome in 1,500 words

A. The Brokencyde boys giggle into their armpits as Qoser wrings out his champagne soaked kimono. He is holding the ends of thirty leather leashes in his fist, of which thirty blood-thirsty mopes are attached to, so he has to squeeze the liquid out of his dress with only one hand. The mopes tug anxiously at their leashes, their blood-stained teeth hang like daggers on the outside of their mouths.
“I’m going to ask one last time, and I suggest you answer me straight,” Qoser says, shaking the liquid from his hand. “Where. Is. Maundin?”
The boys try their best to keep from bursting into laughter, their faces turning cherry-red from not breathing. All of them that is except for Mikl, who seems lost in thought.
“You…” Qoser says, pointing at Mikl. “You know where he is, don’t you?”
Mikl looks up at Qoser and screws up his face, “What’d you say his name was again, yo?”
“Maundin.” Qoser repeats, stepping a foot closer. The mopes are now only inches away from Brokencyde. They dart their tongues out like frogs, tasting them. Saliva gathers in puddles on the floor.
Mikl closes his eyes and begins to bob his head, mumbling nonsense under his breath. “Yo, yo… check it… yo… I got a FREAKDIDDY all up in my biznazz,” Mikl sings, his voice suddenly and oddly electronic. “Askin’ for a mothafucka, ain’t nobody seen him…”
Se7en stands up and combs his frizzy dyed hair down into his face with his fingers. He begins to scream along with Mikl’s rap. “FREAKDDIDDDDDDDDYYYYY!!!!!! MOTHAFUCKAAAA!!!!!”
“Oh shit!” Mikl looks back at Se7en and playfully punches his shoulder. “We’z just wrote another muthafuckin’ song, yo! This one’s GOT to be the one that gets us dat mothafuckin’ Grammy.”
“NO DOUBT!” Se7en screams.
Qoser checks the word count. Shit, only 300. I must somehow make this last for another 1,200 words! He drops the leather leashes from his hand. The mopes rip every last inch of meat from their bones, even licking up the blood on the floor afterwards. Qoser raises his hand high in the air. The bones suddenly begin to move and levitate off the floor. Qoser whips his hand around, causing the bones to swirl together and tighten into a large ball of gore (hey, that rhymes!).
Thirty diehard Brokencyde fans stand in front of the stage, anxiously awaiting the most crunktastic band in history to come out and scream nonsense into their faces for the next two hours. The lights go out. The thirty drunk-out-of-their-fucking-skulls fans all start screaming and falling over one another. The curtains pull back, revealing a faint silhouette of something hanging over the stage. The spotlights come on and make their way over to the object – the giant ball of bloody Brokencyde bones.
The crowd is silent for nearly thirty seconds as they all stand and stare at the mess of bone. Finally, someone in the crowd screams, “GET CRUNK, MOTHAFUCKA!” And the others scream and start dancing, even though there is no music. A couple of the girls even sneak on stage and drink Brokencyde blood out of the other’s navel – the most crunkaliscious blood eva!
Qoser walks out onto the stage and grabs the microphone. “I just wanted to apologize for only doing about half of the required word count, but you can’t possibly understand how annoying these kids were. I mean, sure… I would have loved to have tortured them a bit, but that song… that fucking song put me over the top,” Qoser takes a deep breath. “So long for now… oh, and don’t forget to tip your bartender. Good night!”
A few people clap as he exits the stage, but no one listened to a single word. A few hours later, the place begins to empty out. Not a soul complained about the band not showing up for the show. Surprisingly, no one seemed to notice.

(Interviewer note: Okay, this is a great DEATCHMATCH, however, I just had to point out if Pauley would have described every character as 'drunk-out-of-their-fucking-skulls' he would have reached the word count. Don't give up kids, and use long descriptive words in catchy phrases when you need to thicken things up.)

Ladies and Gentlemen, William Pauley the III!!!!
Look, the front side of his head!

You can find Pauley all over the internet but I recommend looking for him at his blog

Grindhouse Press whom will be publishing The Brothers Crunk.

Stop by and read all the strangeness you can handle or you can sub your crazy weird stories to him at The New Flesh

Next up...Eric S. Brown!!!!

Mr. Moon Interviews Benjamin Rogers

Hello all! I'm very excited to bring you now a few questions with one of my brothers from The Library of the Living Dead; Benjamin Rogers! Benjamin has been working hard at spreading the world for the first novel in his trilogy, Faith and The Undead. Benjamin is also a fellow zombie fan and Pink Floyd fan that is a convention going fool. He has taken time out of his busy schedule to chat with me, so we'd better get down to it!

Q.Let’s start at the beginning. How long have you wanted to write and what were your earliest influences? Has your style changed any as you read more and more authors work?

A. Actually I don’t ever remember wanting to be an author. I wrote in High School and college but that was for assignments. It hasn’t been until the past couple years that I really took up the pen for ‘me’ and just let the words flow.

My style changes every time I read something by a different author. I pick up something new. Except Cormack McCarthy’s lack of punctuation. I can’t stand that! I guess I’m a blend of every author I’ve ever read from William W. Johnstone (The Ashes series) to Shakespeare.

(Interviewer Note: Blood Meridian is one of my favorite novels of all time and the lack of punctuation drives me crazy as well.)


Q. Your debut novel is FAITH & THE UNDEAD, part of a trilogy. How much of the story have you figured out? How long has such a big idea been in your head?

A. To be honest I have the entire story in my head. I know where everything is going and what is going to happen to each character. The big task is getting down on paper. I’m pretty sure some of the things I do are going to confuse and upset some people but I don’t write for pulp. I write because I have a story to tell and usually my tales have a definitive purpose.

The story came about after the 2009 Horror Realm in Pittsburgh. I was working on a different story at that time, but after the convention I chose a different route that led to the Trilogy of the Undead!


Q. What is keeping you busy right now?

A. Well, I’m obviously working on Book 2, CRUSADES & THE UNDEAD which is now a weekly blog post on my website at www.benjamincrogers.com. I’m also working on recording FAITH & THE UNDEAD as an audio book but that is something I have no experience with so it is taking a little time!

Of course there are the endless home improvement projects and my beautiful 18 month old daughter Mallory Jayne to keep me busy!


Q. Fast zombies or slow zombies?

A. I’m a diehard traditionalist so I lean heavily toward slow zombies. I prefer the concept of mass death moving towards you. There are plenty of other fast monsters out there!


Q. How far would you make it through Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory?

A. Now that I’m diabetic I’d like to think I could make it all the way through but my guess is that I wouldn’t make it past the river of chocolate! There were so many things to choose from in there that I’d be running the other kids over!

(Interviewer Note: If I fell into a chocolate river i wouldn't come back up until I couldn't feel my arm.)

Q. Where do you see independent horror is three and a half years?

A. Honestly I really see independent horror taking over from the larger publishers in that time. There are so many great authors out there like Dunwoody, North, Moon, Long…. It is hard for me to say nothing will change. We have the LOVE that large publishers don’t!
(Interviewer Note: Hey, I know them dudes!)

Q. To what do you attribute the growing popularity of zombie fiction?

A. We had an interesting discussion at Horror Realm 2010 about the zombie being the last monster archetype. I think that people are realizing that the zombie is the closest thing to a 'true’ monster we will ever get. It could be your wife, lover, child, neighbor, or someone you don’t even know moaning on the other side of the door or pounding on it to get to your flesh! That is truly scarier than some vampire lurking outside your window!


Q. Who said, ‘I don’t roll on Shabas!’?

A. First of you crazy fool, the Jewish day of rest is spelled ‘Shabbos’! And the man who said it is Walter Sobchak from “The Big Lebowski”. One of John Goodman’s greatest roles ever!

(Interviewer Note: Way to point out my non-Jewness, Benjamin! And ten bonus points for your correct answer!)

Q. What was the first scary movie that you remember watching? Do you remember the last time you watched it?

A. Omega Man, with my Dad when I was little. We had just moved to Pittsburgh and bought a house that needed a lot of work. One Saturday it was really nasty out and Dad decided to sit down on and watch some B-grades on Superhost out of Cleveland. He called me in with him and we watched Omega Man. I watch it twice a year and am due on 11/6 since it was my Dad’s birthday!

Q. Speaking of that, if you could pick 6 horror movies for an all-night movie marathon what would they be?

A. Night of the Living Dead – Got to go old school here!
The Exorcist (original uncut) – Dude, seriously! I get to meet Linda Blair at Horror Hound next week and have no clue what I’m going to say!
Dawn of the Dead (original) – No doubt. Screw the remake!
Event Horizon – Gotta feed the sci-fi fan in me!
The Last Man on Earth – Vincent Price & a Richard Matheson story to boot! This was a no brainer for inclusion!
Omega Man – I know. Charleton Heston in an inaccurate remake of The Last Man on Earth. It has sentimental value for me!

(Interviewer Note: I am down for this marathon!)

Q. Okay, spotlight on Mr. Rogers, please….What is your all-time favorite piece of zombie fiction so far?

A. Damn, MoOn! Not an easy question to answer. If you are talking film then there is no doubt only one choice and that is Night of the Living Dead. When it comes to the written word I have to say it is Empire by David Dunwoody. Something about Empire really struck a chord in me. Something deep. It is a big inspiration behind me writing the Trilogy of the Undead. I will say that I greatly prefer independent zombie work as opposed to major publishing. I think we have more unique ideas and presentation!

(Interviewer Note: I agree, Empire is one hell of a great zombie novel!)

Q. Are there any local legends around where you live?

A. We don’t have anything major like Bigfoot, but we do have some things that are based in historical fact. We have Mansfield Penitentiary, which was a brutal prison and is purportedly quite haunted. There is also Camp Chase which was a Confederate Prisoner of War camp. It is haunted by the voices of children and a woman that is dressed in white who is supposedly looking for someone. Also this area was on the front edge of the frontier so we have a lot of ‘dead’ towns around here. You’ll find a lot of old buildings that have fallen down to rubble so there are hauntings around there. We do have a ‘plague’ cemetery. When they built all the canals through Ohio there was a rash of mysterious deaths during the construction near a small town called Lockbourne, OH. They buried all the people together to isolate the disease but there is no documentation of the cause of death. You can actually see it in the center of a cornfield now a day!


Q. Aside from zombies, what is your favorite ALL-TIME monster from film or book?

A. While not a huge fan of gore I love Pinhead from Hellraiser. There is just something about him. The stoic nature, the dark poise. He scares the crap out of me!

Q. Quick, name drop five great independent horror talents!

A. Okay MoOn, I’m going to treat this like NFL picks. Four that everyone knows and then I’m going out on a limb for my fifth!

David Dunwoody, Stephen North, TW Brown, Ben Jones, and my out on the limb pick Monique-Cherie Snyman (Keep an eye on this writer! I think she is going to go a long long way!)


DEATHMATCH QUESTION...

Q. The zombie virus is spreading across the face of the planet at an alarming rate. America is torn asunder by the gnashing teeth of an undead army. China has gone dark and black smoke billows from the devastation of its greatest cities. South America is crowded with the risen dead and even the dense forests offer no safety. Britain is the last country to fall and people are doing their best to just go on with life. Agent 007, James Bond, is as stressed as the rest of his countrymen and, like many, he seeks the calming trance a Pink Floyd show brings. Halfway through the laser show chaos erupts and zombies attack. Crew, security, and fans alike are attacked and then rise again to claim their pound of flesh. In all the chaos 007 and Pink Floyd frontman David Gilmore escape the crowd of ravenous dead and climb up into the catwalks. 007 sends Gilmore up the ladder first and for his act of heroism he receives a zombie bite on his ankle. He manages to climb the ladder but collapses at the top. David Gilmore, armed only with a day-glo green guitar, approaches the super spy but backs up when 007 snarls viciously at him with blood dripping from his open mouth. SO now, Benjamin, tell me what happens when Zombie 007 faces off with David Gilmore! You have 1,000 words to describe the carnage and the outcome!

Gilmour looked down upon the now green skinned Bond as he pulled himself across the catwalk. The wound on his ankle had festered so badly that Bond’s leg couldn’t support his weight. The Pink Floyd front man backed up slowly knowing that he had some space behind and some time to figure out what he was going to do about this current predicament.
Let’s see. I’ve thrown a concert in a Roman amphitheater in Pompeii, made beds fly, and pigs soar through the sky. With that rhymed thought, Gilmour began to strum his day-glo green Strat that he was trying out for the show. At any regular concert he would have gone for his black one but there was something special about today. Something special indeed!
“What’s wrong my dear David? Is there something amiss? I told you years ago I would control the world,” the voice behind Gilmour exclaimed.
He turned his head partway to the voice, never taking both eyes off the undead Bond that had paused his forward progress. On the giant screen over the stage, Gilmour could see a giant white Persian cat with a hand stroking the fur on its head. As the camera panned back the face that greeted the guitarist shocked him, Roger Waters.
“You stole my band, David. I’m here to take it back!”
Gilmour bristled at the accusation and began to strum the tones of a modern Floyd favorite, “Dogs of War.” He knew that Waters was always jealous of that song and that the undead were oddly terrified of the large animal. As Bond picked up with his advance towards him, the giant German Shepherds from the video came up on the huge screen and began their lope across the field.
Bond, in his extreme fear, fell shrank back from the guitarist opening a large gap between the man and zombie. Realizing his chance, Gilmour changed songs to “Pigs (three different ones)” from the Animals album. When the song starts, Gilmour knew that Algie the Fifth, would come fly across the top of the stadium right where his nemesis stood. Sure enough, from behind the stage, came Algie the large inflatable pig that had kept audiences entertained for almost thirty years.
The slight breeze gently buffeted the remote control porcine blimp as she made her way out into the open stadium. The laser show that displayed on the large screen kept Bond occupied with flashing lights as the porker made its way closer and closer until it was too late for the undead super spy. The forelock of the pig caught him in the small of the back and flipped him over the railing that the zombie had used to pull himself upright. Gilmour watched the body tumble through the air as he led into one of the songs many guitar riffs and splatter against the seat that had been set up on the stadiums floor.
“Damn it Gilmour! You bloody git! How dare you foil my plans again?” shouted the voice from the screen.
“Anytime, Roger. I warned you once and I’ll warn you again; do not mess with The Floyd!”
With that declaration the screen went dark. During his battle with the British Agent, Bond, the stadium had managed to clear out as the undead chase their living quarry out into the night air of the town. Stand atop the catwalk and looking out into the empty venue, Gilmour smirked and began to play one of his all-time favorite songs, “Comfortably Numb.” He broke into the lyrics through his wireless microphone and had a surprise.
When he asked the line, “Is there anybody out there?” a voice spoke up from the arena floor.
“I am sir!”
Gilmour looked down to see a young girl, maybe fifteen years of age standing below him amongst the strewn seats and body parts.
“Have you been bitten?”
“No sir!”
“Good! Do you know who I am?”
“You’re the lead singer of Floyd!”
“Yes, but what’s my name?”
The girl looked down at the floor and built up the courage for her reply. “I don’t know, sir!”
Gilmour stood back for a second and looked around the arena taking in the carnage, devastation and most of all Bond’s broken body not twenty feet from the teenage survivor.
“It’s Gilmour, David Gilmour. Double O Pig, Zombie Hunter!”

Nicely done!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Benjamin Rogers!



Be sure to track Benjamin down at his web site
NEXT Up- William Pauley III!!!!!

Mr. Moon Interviews Jeremy C. Shipp

I love independent fiction like heroin loves the needle. Seriously, immediately after finishing Jeremy C. Shipp's incredible new collection Fungus of the Heart I sat down and wrote out these questions. Jeremy is a stand out talent and a star on the rise, his talent is only overshadowed by his kindness and humility. I'm very proud to bring you a few words with the wonderfully unique Jeremy C. Shipp.

Q. Let’s start at the very beginning. Do you remember the first thing that made you want to write? Please include any social influences as well as other author’s work.

A. My greatest influence was playing pretend with my brothers when I was a kid. We would come up with complex storylines and recurring characters such as the grim reaper and an extremely lucky wrestler with two Neanderthal sidekicks. I also fell in love with storytelling thanks to creative individuals such as HG Wells, Terry Gilliam, Ray Bradbury, George Lucas, Alexandre Dumas, Jim Henson, Jules Verne.


Q. Do you remember your first published story?

A. My first published story was called “Love Thy Demon.” It was either about a demon or an anthropomorphic tea cozy. I can’t remember which.


Q. What are you working on right now?

A. I’m hard at work on a new dark fiction collection, a middle grade fantasy novel, a screenplay, and a couple other projects. Oh, and I’m starting an indie rock band with the Mothra Twins and Max Headroom.

(Interviewer note: Be careful that Max Headroom is a son of a bitch.)

Q. Who is your ALL TIME favorite bad guy for books or movies?

A. The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.


Q. Why does Jeremy C. Shipp write bizarro fiction and not glittery vampire stories?

A. I go wherever my imagination takes me, and my imagination takes me to worlds inhabited by zombie polar bears, boys who live in cabinets, and mold sprites.


Q. For your story ‘Flapjack’, from The Bizarro Starter Kit: Blue, the characters seem to have their own language. How did you come up with it? And do you have a translation guide in case I missed something?

A. I’ve always loved playing around with language, and so it was easy for me to come up with Flapjack-speak. The only translation guide exists in my head, but every word in the story can be understood through context.


Q. How far would you make it through Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory?

A. Being vegan, I’d go to Billy Bonka’s Vegan Chocolate Factory instead, where all the chocolate tastes moderately disgusting. Billy Bonka believes it’s wrong to remove Oompa Loompas from their native lands, and so he enslaves the plant-based Poompa Ploompas instead, which is much more ethical. I would make it all the way through the factory, because I’m quite the goody two-shoes. After I inherit the factory, the Poompa Ploompas would convince me that all plants have feelings, and I’d end up starving to death.

(Interviewer note: Poompa Ploompas are delicious sauteed in olive oil and garlic.)

Q. If you could pick 6 horror movies for an all-night movie marathon which would they be?

A. Audition, Dead Alive, Psycho, The Happiness of the Katakuris, May, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.
( Interviewer note: I'm goggling the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra as soon as i post this!)





Q. In your fantastic new collection of short stories. ‘Fungus of the Heart’, there are several reoccurring themes; such as War, Redemption, Family, Gender, Love, Hope and Despair. As different as the stories all are they all seem interconnected if only through theme and subject. Was this intentional? How much of your personal life do you put into your stories?

A. I wanted each story to be its own universe, but I wanted these universes to be funhouse mirror reflections of our own world. Every story in the collection focuses on relationships. Love, family, friendship. My personal life bleeds into my stories, and my stories bleed into my personal life, but I would never write an autobiography or a memoir. The characters and situations in my stories are only somewhat inspired by real life. For instance, the way that Cicely and Nicholas (from my novel Cursed) talk to each other reminds me of how me and my wife talk to each other sometimes.

Q. As a leader in the new Bizarro movement you’ve organized an on-line writer’s workshop. Can you tell us all about it?

A. I teach an online writing course called the Jeremy C. Shipp Yard Gnome Fiction Army Bootcamp. My students read lectures and complete weekly writing exercises. They also write and critique short stories and novel chapters. If anyone reading this would like to learn more about the course, feel free to email me at bizarrobytes@gmail.com.


Q. Who said, “It’s a fucking show dog! It has papers!” ?

A. I have no idea, dude. Walter Cronkite?
(Interviewer note: Soooo close, Walter Sobchek. John Goodman's character from The Big Lewbowski.)

Q. Stephen Roberts (of The Dark Fiction Show fame) states in his bio that your novel ‘Vacation’ changed the way he looks at fiction. Does being an inspiration to your fellow writers make you feel as sexy as it would make me feel?

A. Being an inspiration to other writers makes me feel like a yard gnome shaman who’s just discovered a new species of magic mushroom.


Q. Whiskey, water, or coffee?

A. I don’t drink coffee or anything alcoholic, so I’d have to choose the Smurf smoothie.


Q. How many yard gnomes live in your yard? Have you ever seen them attack?

A. The colony in my yard consists of 634 worker gnomes, a Queen, four shamans, and a pair Vaudevillian gnomic pirates. I once watched my yard gnomes tear apart an attic clown using nothing but their titanium sporks. It was horrific, and yet somehow grotesquely beautiful.

(Interviewer note:I would be scared shitless around that many yard gnomes!)

Q. Quick, name drop five Bizarro talents!

A. Andersen Prunty, Tom Bradley, Gina Ranalli, John Edward Lawson, Carlton Mellick III.


Q. Any advise for aspiring writers?

A. Read and write every day. Write even when writing feels like the last thing in the universe you want to do. Also, don’t let rejection get you down. Rejection letters are good for you. They’re high in omega-3 fatty acids.

DEATHMATCH Question!!!!!!

Q. Your attic clown saunters down to steal some bagels from your breakfast table and is confronted by none other than Earnest Hemingway. The two have a brief but silent conversation with their eyes, and then the shouting begins. It wakes you and you crash into your kitchen as the attic clown yells, “This house isn’t big enough for the two of us!”
Being the calming voice of reason you talk them into working out their problems the old fashioned way; with a two out of three falls battle!

Round 1. A spelling bee between the two big-word-loving-fiends.

Round 2. A bare-knuckle boxing match ala’ the 1930’s.

And if necessary….

Round 3. Each man builds his own giant robot warrior (think Voltron) and must destroy the other!

You have 1,500 words to describe the carnage and the outcome!!!!


A.

Looking down at the index card, I say, “Spell Kilimanjaro.”

“K...I…L—” Ernest begins earnestly.

“I’ll kill a man, Jer-o,” says the clown, and chortles until he pops a blood vessel.

Ernest sighs. “I’m not nearly drunk enough to spend time with such a fool.”

“It’s six in the morning,” I say.

“It’s six in the evening in Kilimanjaro,” Ernest says.

“No it’s not.”

At this point, the Attic Clown squirts the ground with demonic seltzer and raises a horde of balloon animals. They’re all bees and they’re all swarming around Ernest. They’re saying, “K.I.L.L.A.M.A.N.J.E.R.O.”

As the bees stab Ernest all over his body, the old man says, “K.I.L.I.M.A.N.J.A.R.O.”

“Ernest wins,” I say, and the bees all pop, spraying blood and pus all over Ernest’s head and safari clothes.

Next, the Attic Clown and Ernest shrink down to the size of a whiskey bottle. The attic clown changes his clothing and enters the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robot ring.

“I’m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy,” Ernest says.

“But that’s not Tolstoy,” I say. “That’s just the Attic Clown in a Russian military uniform.”

“I refuse to fight anyone Tolstoy-esque.”

“Fine. The Attic Clown wins this round.”

For round three, Ernest and the Attic Clown build a couple of miniature giant robots out of LEGO bricks.

Ernest's Drunktron tries to shoot the Attic Clown's Gigglebot using a miniature giant shotgun, but the Drunktron can't shoot the broad side of a robotic barn.

Meanwhile, the Gigglebot slaps the Drunktron over and over with a miniature giant rubber chicken.

Eventually, Ernest is destroyed but not defeated.


Whoa, the first ever deathless DEATHMATCH, and I still loved it!
Bravo! thank you Jeremy C. Shipp!

You can find more Jeremy C. Shipp here...

http://www.jeremycshipp.com/
http://www.twitter.com/JeremyCShipp
http://rawdogscreaming.com/fungus.html

Next up Benjamin Rogers!!!!!

Mr. Moon Interviews Garrett Cook

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